Ein Antrag auf Erteilung eines Antragsformulars English translation
von Reinhard Mey

My relationship with authorities was not always untroubled
This was only because you cannot do what you do not practice
Today I go in and out of all the offices in a worldly manner
After all, I am practically at home on official business
Since the day the main file processing office in the north
requested me by registered mail: "Send us immediately

An application for an application form
To confirm the invalidity of the carbon copy
The validity of which comes from the authority in question
For the purpose of submission to the responsible issuing office."


Until that day I didn't even know that such a thing existed,
But who likes to admit it, so I dug out what I had
Papers and documents from the old shoebox,
X-ray, free swimming certificate, parking permit and laundry receipt
With these I went to an office, out of all the doors I looked for
The most pleasant one and knocked: "Hi, is there
An application for an application form
To confirm the invalidity of the carbon copy
The validity of which comes from the authority responsible
For the purpose of submission to the responsible issuing office?"

"Well," said the man at the desk, "anything you want, just

I'm a substitute here, the clerk is on a health cure

At most, if that would be of any use to you, I could give you the brochure on how to protect yourself from tooth decay

But ask the doorman, they say he knows his way around here"

And that's what I did: "Oh, please, where can you get an application form in the building that declares the invalidity

To validate the continuity?... No, wait, that was wrong

The authority that issued the application is in the process of issuing it

Well, you know, a piece of paper, do you know where you can get it?"

"You're in the wrong place, the best thing to do is to go
To the transfer service for the district, Parkstrasse Ten
To the devaluation department for the forms committee
Just hurry up a bit, because it closes at two o'clock
Then tell the doorman my best regards
And then you'll get room one hundred and four on the third floor, on the right
Your application for an application form
To confirm the invalidity of the carbon copy
The validity of which comes from the authority responsible
For the purpose of submission to the responsible issuing office."


At Parkstrasse 10 the doorman said to me: "Oh, too bad
The people at 104 have been switching to computers for two weeks
And the branch office that normally handles hardship cases
Has been closed since eleven o'clock, they're celebrating an anniversary today
Mrs Schlibrowski is on vacation, well, the only thing they can do is
Try the new building, maybe the registry has
An application for an application form
To confirm the invalidity of the carbon copy
The validity of which comes from the authority responsible
For the purpose of submission to the responsible issuing office."

I knocked, entered and felt red spots on my face
A woman was making coffee, she didn't pay any attention to me
Then she drank it with relish, I stood in the room smiling stupidly
Finally she cleaned a fat rubber tree thoroughly
I cleared my throat again, but then I suddenly screamed shrilly
Threw myself drumming on the floor and I wheezed "I want

My application for an application form
To confirm the invalidity of the carbon copy
Its validity..., oh you know, you rusty fork
Nail your damn form to your own knee!"

Sobbing, I crawled out of the door and lay there twitching. The file carrier gently lifted me onto his file cart and pushed me gently through the corridors, giving me comfort and courage. "The two of us are going to the company doctor now, everything will be fine there! I'm just going to drop off a box of forms at the internal mail. Would you stand up for a moment, you're sitting on them right now. This is a batch of old forms, they're going back to the senior administrative office. They're supposed to be scrapped now, some are going to the developing countries, to development aid, then they'll finally get the bureaucracy under control. And you're songwriters, you write a lot, instead of throwing them away you can take them with you as scrap paper, nobody needs them anymore anyway, these are the so-called applications for an application form. To confirm the invalidity of the carbon copy. Its validity mark comes from the authority of reference
For the purpose of submission to the competent issuing office."