Ahmed (1960–2002) English translation
von Namika

End of the Eighties, she visits her homeland
An unknown man asks for my mother's hand
She doesn’t want to marry
But out of respect for her parents, she would never say no
And just as the Berlin Wall is falling in Germany
Morocco continues to build a 2000-mile defense wall
So, escape across the Mediterranean
Two-room apartment, Frankfurt
She brings him here
And he does nothing for money, thinking it will come by itself
She pays the rent and cleans in hotels
He has no desire to adapt for a job
And quickly ends up deep in the underground world
And so he goes out, selling drugs
While his heavily pregnant wife sits at home


Ninth month and he no longer shows up
Growing debts and a growing belly for her
Even with a missing persons report, nothing can be achieved
She is alone and married to a ghost
I am born, Mom's family is there
And my father is hunted by private detectives
Later we learn that he was deported years ago
Serving his prison sentence in a jail near Nador
Released with a diagnosis of cancer
He gets the idea to see his family again
Demands us back as if we were his property
Not even that he does himself, only his brother-in-law is sent
Threatens to kidnap me if he sees me
Since that day, I was never allowed to play outside alone again

I’ve never seen him, never heard him, never understood
But everyone says I resemble him closely
When he died, it wasn’t a big blow to me
I was too young and he was always dead to me
And now I wonder how one speaks of the dead
I hear so much, but never got his version
As time passes, a part of him remains
Ahmed, 1960 to 2002