The Best Things in Life Songtext
von Half Man Half Biscuit

My Uncle Charlie is a cynical man
And his wifes a touch skeptical, too.
They′ve got one of those stickers
In the back of their van; it says:
We've seen the prices at the zoo.
Well today I knocked upon their door
And said that I was passing,
And charlie launched a scathing attack.
When I asked him what I′d done, he said
"You stupid bastard! We live in a cul-de-sac!"


Went to Dali's party; it was fancy dress.
I just stuck an apple in my face.
I saw a chap who obviously was out to impress,
Reckoned he'd beat Gagarin into space.
He said "Hi there boys!
Like I′m sorry I′m late!

But I was getting done up
As a Mogul Thrash acetate!"
Me, I got bored
So I went home,
Got into bed,
And came to the conclusion...

There is nothing better in life
Than writing on the sole of your slipper with a Birol
There is nothing better in life
Than writing on the sole of your slipper with a Biro
There is nothing better in life
Than writing on the sole of your slipper with a Biro
There is nothing better in life
Than writing on the sole of your slipper with a Biro
On a Saturday Night instead of going to a pub.