Kitty History Songtext
von Trevor Moore

In a universe that′s infinite
Like many theorize ours is
There are parallel worlds
Where every possibility lives
So a planet's somewhere out there
Their history the same as ours is written
The only difference is that everyone′s a kitten

Kitty history just like ours
Kitty dinosaurs, to kitties driving cars
Kitty history somewhere in quantum space
Mathematically this had to take place
Kitty world wars and kitty mass graves
Kitty colonialism and kitty slaves

It's kitty history somewhere out in the stars!


Just like us, Kitty Colombus sailed until he saw land
But then quickly got off so he could poop in the sand
They formed the first kitty cities and kitty towns
Then they'd wake up at night just to run around
They had their own little kitty civil war
But found some string and forgot what they were fighting for

It′s kitty history and it′s just like ours!

Little Kitty JFK got killed by Kitty Lyndon Johnson and the CIA
Then Lyndon doubled down on Kitty Vietnam
And they bought more helicopters and kitty bombs
From a company where his wife was the main stockholder
And they made a kitty fortune 'fore the war was over

Kitty history, cuddly planet like ours!

A little kitty at the CIA
Who helped kill Kennedy in Dallas that day
Did so darn well that his career got a push
A kitty named George H. W. Bush
He′s made CIA director and Vice President's next
All while getting Kitty Saudi Arabian checks

It′s kitty history, kitty's taking charge!


Kitty Bush waits his turn to ascend to his throne
Gets his cronies in power, Kitty USA overthrown
The Kitty Saudis know how he can repay his debt
So he starts a war with Iraq, their number one threat
But Kitty Sadaam is not ejected
And the very next year, Kitty George isn′t re-elected

Kitty history, kitties need a new star!

Kitty Bush gets his sons jobs as Governers
Then one steals the election for the other
New Kitty Bush has gotta finish the Saudi's mission
So he has a report made by a Commission
That says "To start a new war, as far as we can attest
You'd need a new Kitty Pearl Harbor" and we all know the rest

Kitty history exactly like ours!

Kitty history out in the spacetime loops
Kitty leaders and kitty banking groups
Kitty surveillance states
Kitty terrorists on kitty government pay
Kitty history, come on and sing!
Six kitty companies run everything

It′s kitty history somewhere out in the stars!