Craig Songtext
von Stephen Lynch

Everyone knows Jesus
The man who healed the lame
But I am Jesus′ brother
Craig is my name

Jesus is the Prince of Peace
Jesus is the Lamb
Jesus is the Son of God
But Craig don't give a damn

Because when Craig′s in sight
We'll party all damn night!
I don't turn water into wine
But into cold Coors Light!
I′m not my brother, I know
Don′t walk on H2O
But I got hydroponic shit that me and Judas grow!

I'm fuckin′ Craig!
I'm fuckin′ Craig!
Yeah, I'm fuckin′ Craig!
Craig Christ


I hang out with lepers
Barabas and Salome
Jesus' friends are called Apostles
Those dudes are totally gay

Jesus performs miracles
From Galilee to Rome
But it would be a miracle
If he brought a fuckin' lady home

Because while Jesus is prayin′
Fuckin′ Craig is layin'
Every lady in the Testament
You know what I′m sayin'?
I won′t die for your sin
Like my famous kin
But if you've got a little sister
Then there′s room at this inn!

I'm fuckin' Craig!
Yeah, I′m fuckin′ Craig!
I'm fuckin′ Claagh!
Craig Christ


Jesus was our mother's fave
All her love to him she gave
But there′s no sibling rivalry
When he's nailed to that tree! Yeah!

And now the question for you
Is not "What would Jesus do?"
But where will you be
When the Craig Machine comes partyin′ through?
And if the Lord will allow
You've got to ask yourself how
And who and why and when and where is your messiah now?

It's fuckin′ Craig!
It′s fuckin' Craig!
Fuckin′ Craig!
Fuckin' Craig!
I′m fuckin' Craig!
Craig Christ
Craig Christ
Craig Christ
I′m fuckin' Craig