Wheel of Misfortune Songtext
von Starbomb

Yo, here we go


I may sound chill, but I never been so excited
Because Arin and I just officially got invited
To the dopest game show ever to grace your TV
We′re gonna be chillin' with Vanna
It′s Wheel of Fortune, baby
The lights go down and the crowd fills the area
My consonant game will blow apart their genitalia
The puzzle is "titles", no cause for concern
Here I go, spin the wheel, aw man
Lose a turn!
Okay, no biggie, now it's Arin's time to spin
Wow, he got five thousand, that′s pretty good for him
Let mе see... is there an N?
Why yes, indeed, Arin, thеre are seventeen N′s
Alright, keep it cool
Don't get hot under the collar
Arin′s only ahead by eighty-five thousand dollars
Here's his second spin, five thousand again?
Is there an N?
Yes, there are six more N′s
I'd like to solve the puzzle
Okay, let′s check
Is it "NNNNNNNN-NNNNNNNN-NNNNNNN"?
That is correct!


Alright, round two, here we go, clean slate
Take a breath, spin the wheel (Lose a turn!), that's great
Tell you what, my hand slipped, I'm gonna give it another try
Here we go (Lose a turn!), what the fuck, my guy?
I′m going again, here′s the spin (Lose a turn!)
I'm jealous of everybody who is currently in an urn
Just four more spins, this court is not adjourned
Lose a turn, lose a turn, lose a turn, lose a turn!
Oh my fucking god, I need an adult
I′ll do anything to end up with a different result
I'm spinning one last time before I tear off my face
Wait, the spin is going way past the "lose a turn" space
It′s headed for money, oh man, this is sick
You've landed on "get punched in the dick"
Oh gosh, that′s gonna take a while to heal
I'm sorry, let me ask, was that always on the wheel?
Two panels were added when round two began
Get punched in the dick, and a trip to Japan
But you still have to guess, you don't just get the reward
You only get the punches if your letter′s on the board
Uh... Q?
There are twenty-three Q′s
Oh
Oh
Stop, please!

The board is yours, Dan, would you like to buy a vowel?
My testicles are absolutely devastated
The board is yours, Arin, would you like to buy a vowel?
Actually, I'm gonna spin for one more round
Oh, it looks like you landed on the mystery spot
Go and pick up the panel, let′s see what you got
It's a million dollars and a car to spare
But wait, it looks like there′s another panel under there
Ugh
It's a boat and a jet, huh, I′m in disbelief
I can't believe my eyes, another panel's underneath
It′s a treasure chest exploding with gold doubloons
And a document from NASA giving you ownership of the moon
Come on
And there′s one last panel, pick it up real quick
It says "if you get this letter, you can punch Dan's dick"
Is there a W?
There′s seventy-eight W's
I′d like to solve the puzzle, is it
"QQQWWWWW-WWWWWWWW-WWWWWWWA-QQWWWWWW-
-WWWWAQQQ-QWWWWWWWW-EQQEWWWW-WWWWWWQQ-QWWWWWWW-
WWWWWWWW-WWWAAAAQ-QQQQQQQQ-WWWWWWWW-WWWWWWWO-OOOOOO"?

That's it, you′re our biggest winner of all time
Congratulations, Arin
I wish I'd done better in the game
But at least I know my best friend wouldn't ever punch me in the-
I won!
Ugh