Kiss the Elden Ring Songtext
von Starbomb

You got me like ooh
Got me like ooh
Got me like ooh
Got me like ooh
There′s a little game and it's called Elden Ring
It′s got a world and a story that is making me sing
They got the author of Game of Thrones writin' the thing
So you know that shit is good as fuck; praise the king
I'm running around, checking the town
Cleaning up dragons and giants and knights
With all kinds of blights
I hear a little voice in the distance
Hello? Can you hear me?
Oh, I cannot miss this
Oh my stars
Bitch, are you a jar?
I′m so happy to see you
Fuck that, I wanna be you
I′m Alexander, and I'm stuck in this hole
I′m also called the iron fist


Listen bitch, you got me like
Ooh, and I don't know why
I am horny for this bucket getting mystified (You got me like ooh)
I got attention divide
I should probably find the Elden Ring but this jar′s (Got me like ooh)
I wonder what's inside
I′d like to bathe in the innards of this fuckin' guy
I cannot stand by
When the least I can do is make this ceramic pot fly
Please sir, gimme a good smack from the rear
With something nice and big
You just fuckin' made my whole year
Ahh, well played, the pleasure is mine
Prithee take some rotten flesh as a thanks for your time
Wait, hold up, hold on, was that flesh up inside you?
Why, yes, fallen enemies I put up inside me
Aw damn, now I′m jealous that I′m not up inside you
If I let you kick my ass, can I be all up inside you?
What am I thinkin', man? This bowl got me fannin′ my face
The way this fucker talks, puttin' me in my place
Disgraced to let my parents know that I′m simpin' a vase
When he′s like "Fillin' my heart with vigor"
That's just makin′ my penis bigger
Ha ha ha, you and me
Little brown jug, don′t I love thee
Ha ha ha, you and me
Little brown jug, don't I love thee (You got me like)
(Ooh) Must′ve left my heart ajar
Cause I'm thinkin′ now I might be in love with a jar (You got me like)
(Ooh) Might think it's quite bizarre
But I′m lookin' at other kitchen implements and they (Got me like)
(Ooh) Is there a warrior spoon? Oh fuck
The thought of its curvy body's makin′ me swoon (Got me like)
(Ooh) I guess I better admit
That I am sexually attracted to things that I cook stuff with
Yo, the more I look, the more I see
Ladies around, starin′ at me
There's a witch named Ranni, but it ain′t the right time, see
Her four arms are on me but none of them cook banh mi
And Fia, I see ya, but I can't guarantee ya
As I gaze into your eyes in this bed from IKEA
But that blessing when you′re pressing me into your chest
Isn't impressing me more than a stainless steel zester
Out of a puff of vapor, appears Melina
But you know that steamy babe isn′t a milk steamer
Got a peek-a Roderika, who's spirit tuning
But a spoon is the soonest thing you'll find me spooning
(You got me like Ooh) I think I′m losin′ my mind
Should I see a therapist, or make a blender my bride? (Got me like)
(Ooh) No matter what I do
The thought of fuckin' that sexy piece of hunky porcelain
(Got me like Ooh) Maybe I should confront
All my feelings, talk to Alexander and be blunt
I′m gonna give it all I got
I'm gonna stop repressing my depressing
Thoughts and try to fuck that pot
A-so, I just arrived in the Caelid Wilds
See my boy Alexander and I′m all smiles
Check my breath, comb my hair, and I look over there
And guardin' a castle door, a dinosaur sized motherfuckin′ giant pot
Oh god, what do I do?
Alexander's waving at me now, but now I got new feelings
For the massive pot
Maybe I should've tried to make it work with Milli and her scarlet rot
(You got me like Ooh) He′s liftin′ up his foot
How did he know that I'm into that kind of-
Oh my stars
Well, as long as no one′s using this meat
I guess I could just put this into my jar body
Mmm, yes, mmm, ugh, yes