Pop Songtext
von Mitch Hedberg

I had a Mr.Pip
Mr.Pip is the replica of Dr.Pepper
But it′s the bullshit replica
Cause dude didn't even get his degree

Why did you have to drop out and start making pop so soon

The commercial for diet Dr.pepper
Says it tastes just like regular Dr.Pepper
Well then they fucked up

I went to a doctor
All he did was suck blood from my neck
Don′t go see Dr.Acula

I want to hang - I want to hang a map of the world in my house
And then i'm gonna but pins in all the locations
That I've traveled to
But first i′m gonna travel to the top two corners of the map
So it won′t fall down

You know, people think i'm into sports just because I′m a man
I'm not into sports I mean I like Gatorade
But that′s about as far as it goes


And by the way you don't have to be sweaty
And holding a basketball to enjoy a Gatorade
You can just be, a thirsty dude

Gatorade forgets about this demographic
I′m thirsty for absolutely no reason
Other than the fact that liquid has not touched my lips
For some time

Can I have a Gatorade too?
Or does that lightning bolt mean no

Yeah I'm not into sports
If I had Athlete's Foot
My first reaction would be
"That′s not my fucking foot"

I don′t want to have my face on the cover of a Wheaties box
I want to have my face on the cover of a Rice Crispies box
Snap, Crackle, Mitch and Pop
"Hey, how the fuck did he do that?"
Well in Hollywood it's all who you know
And I know Crackle

I saw on HBO, they were advertising this boxing match
They said "it′s a fight to the finish"
That's a good place to end


Every McDonald′s commercials end the same way, right?
McDonald's commercials end like this
Prices and participation may vary

Now I want to open a McDonald′s
And not participate in anything
I wanna be a stubborn McDonald's owner
I say "cheeseburgers?
Nope
We got spaghetti and blankets
But we are not affiliated with that clown
He attracts too many children"