Nanook Rubs It (12‐12‐73 / Bolic Studios) Songtext
von Frank Zappa

Well, right about that time, people
A fur trapper who was strictly from commercial

Strictly commercial
Had the unmedicated audacity to jump up from behind my igyaloo
(Peek-a-boo, woo-ooh)
And started in to whippin′ on my favorite baby seal
With a lead filled snow shoe

I said, with a lead (lead)
Filled (lead filled)
With a lead filled snow shoe (snow shoe)
He said, "Peak-a-boo" (peek-a-boo)
He said, "With a lead" (lead)
He said, "Whap, with a lead" (lead filled)
Right upside the head with a lead filled snow shoe (snow shoe)
He said peak-a-boo with my favorite baby seal (peek-a-boo)
He hit him upside the head and he hit him on the fin and he... (peek-a-boo)
Well, he caused some terrible damage to my favorite baby seal
And so I...


Heh-heh, I forgot what I did there
What do I do there?
Do I reach down there? (You pounce)
I what? (Pounce)
Oh yeah, and so... (no, you gotta reach down before you pounce)
Oh yeah, that's what I thought

And so I, I reached down with my genuine Nanook-Of-The-North
Patented whale blubber mitten
And I reached down and I scooped down and I bent down
And I gathered up a generous mitten full of the deadly (yellow snow)
The deadly yellow snow from right there where the huskies go

And then I proceeded to rub it all into his beady little eyes
With a vigorous circular motion
Hitherto unknown to the citizens of this area
But destined to supplant the mud shark in your mythology
Here it is, ladies and gentlemen, take it away

And then I, in a fit of anger, I
I pounced
And I pounced again
And I jumped up and down on the chest of the
And I jumped up and down on the chest of the
And I jumped up and down on the chest of the
In the back of the bus now
Peek-a-boo
I injured the fur trapper


Well, the fur trapper had a lot of trouble at that point
He put his hand up in front of his face
And he looked directly into the camera and he said

I can′t see (I can't see temporarily)
I can't see (I can′t see temporarily)
Oh, woe is me (I can′t see temporarily)
What if there's something good on TV and I can′t see? (I can't see temporarily)

He took a dog-doo sno-cone
And stuffed it in my right eye
He took a dog-doo sno-cone
And stuffed it in my other eye

And the huskie wee-wee
Has blinded me temporarily
And, good God, I can′t see
The fur trafter, the fur trafter
With the deflicted fur
With the deflicted trafter

The fur trafter
Well, anyway, ladies and gentlemen
He decided that he had to do something about his eyes
Seeing as how they were so messed up
So he reached up with a pencil underneath of his parka
And he started rubbing underneath of his parka
Just like Tina does underneath of her wig
Whenever it gets damp and itchy

And he tried to figure out exactly what he was going to do about fixing it up
And then he remembered an ancient legend that he had heard
About two o'clock in the morning
Just as the D leaked into the clavinet

He remembered an ancient Eskimo legend
Wherein it is written on whatever they write it on
That if you ever have something wrong with your eyes
As a result of some sort of mysterious conflict
With an Eskimo named Nanook
Whose mother has informed him that it is not wise
To spend his money and go to the show

The thing you have to do is go trudgin′ across the tundra
Mile after mile
All the way down to the parish of Saint Alfonzo
Saint Alfonzo is the patron saint of the smelt fishermen of Portuguese extraction
And his parish is located down there in the Columbia River delta
Where it is really funky, ladies and gentlemen

And he's gotta sneak into the Saint Alfonzo parish pantry
And he's gotta locate a mysterious elixir disguised as a box of mar-juh-rene
And he′s supposed to grab the mar-juh-rene
And rub it on his deflicted eyes
Thereby affecting some sort of miraculous cure

In the next episode we find the fur trapper
In part two of our adventure and it goes like this
Look out