Introducing…The Mothers Songtext
von Frank Zappa

A few years ago you told me that you were planning to live in Amsterdam for a while
Have you any plans in this direction now?

Well, if they do two
There′s talk about doing "200 Motels" on VPRO television
And at that time I was thinking about living here for about month prior to the production of the show

When will it be?

December

It hasn't, it hasn′t been set yet

No, no, no
I just, I said probably

Well, how was I to know?

Yeah
There's another question
About this, you know, on the cover of your first album
There was this quote from the man who says, "I'm gonna make you guys as big as The Turtles"

That′s right

You think you′re as big as The Turtles now
With two people from The Turtles in your group?

Well it helps a lot if you wanna be as big as The Turtles to have some Turtles in your band


Alright, Frank
Right on, Frank, right on

Take it away, Turtles

If I promise you to make you as big as The Rascals now, what do you do then?

Yeah, they'll be, well I don′t know, we'll get Dino Danelli on drums

Can you please introduce the members of your group to the people
And tell them what was the last group they played in?

Sure (thanks)
Here they are The Turtles down here, ladies and gentlemen
Mark and Howie, in the brightly colored uniforms
Carefully concealed behind them amid the shrubbery and electronics is Ian Underwood
Formerly of The Mothers Of Invention
Aynsley Dunbar, formerly of this blues band they used to have
Aynsley Dunbar Retaliation and... what′s that other one called? The Blue Whale?

The Blue Whale, yeah


Yeah, that one too
And uh, Jeffrey "Swoovette" Simmons on electrical bass
Who was formerly employed as the leader of a group from Seattle called The Easy Chair, ladies and gentlemen
And over here in the background we have George Duke
Take it away, George
George Duke records for World Pacific and he has his own ensemble known as The George Duke Trio
And you may be familiar with his work with the Don Ellis Orchestra and also with Don, Jean-Luc Ponty

Oh, great, jazz violinist
Final question, your friend Captain Beefheart says he comes from Mars
Where do you come from?

Well, I don't want you to hold it against me, but I come from the United States

Alright
Alright, now we′re going to play a song for you called "Wonderful Wino," and it's dedicated to Mr. Duke on the piano, who's really big on the wine
Oh, yeah, should be

If The Monkees were doing this show they′d already be tuned up
Who would care?

In E

Alright, that′s good enough

Tawdriness
One, two, three, four