Fembot in a Wet T‐Shirt Songtext
von Frank Zappa

Looks to me like something funny is going on around here
People laughin′ 'n′ dancin' 'n′ payin′
Entirely too much for their beer

And they all think they are clean outa-site
And they're ready to party
′Cause the sign outside says it's wet t-shirt nite
′N they all crave some Hot delight

Well the girls are excited
Because in a minute they're gonna get wet
′N the boys are delighted
Because all the titties will get 'em upset

'N they all think they are reety-awright
′N they′re ready to boogie
'Cause the sign outside says it′s wet t-shirt nite
'N they all crave some pink delight

When the water gets on′em
Their ninnies get rigid 'n look pretty bold
It′s a common reaction
That makes an attraction whenever it's cold


'N all of the fellas
They wish they could bite
On the cute little nuggets
The local girls are showin′ off tonite

You know I think it serves ′em right
You know I think it serves 'em right
You know I think it serves ′em right
You know I think it serves 'em right

And it′s wet t-shirt time again
I know you want someone to show you some tit!
Big ones! Wet ones! Big wet ones!

Ah, thanks, Ike
Yes, it's wet t-shirt time again
Here at The Brasserie. Home of the tits, huh huh
And it′s the charming Mary from Canoga Park
Up next in her bid for the semi-finals

Hi, Mary, howya doin?
Hi!
Where ya from?
Ah, the bus
Which one?
You know, the last tour. You know, leather
Oh, you were the girl that was stuck to seat 38 on Phydeaux III


Why don't you get in position now and take a deep breath
Because this water is very, very cold
But it's goin′ to be so stimulating
And Mary′s the kind of red-blooded American girl who'll do anything
I said (Anything) anything for fifty bucks. That′s right!
I really need the fifty bucks you know. I gotta get home!
Yeah, I know, your father is waiting for you in the tool shed

That's right, you heard right
Our big prize tonight is fifty American dollars
To the girl with the most exciting mammalian protruberances
Here I am!

As viewed through a thoroughly soaked
Stupid looking white sort of male person′s
Conservative kind of middle-of-the-road cotton undergarment
Whoopee! And here comes the water!

No, you'd squeak more if the water got on you
Sounds like you just got an ice pick in the forehead
And here comes the ice pick in the forehead!
A million laughs, Mary! Anyway

Good golly, what a mess, she′s totally soaked
I love it
Yeah, totally committed to the fifty bucks
That's it just step into the spotlight
Let the guys get a good look at ya, honey!

Here I am!
Whaddya say, fellas? Nice setta jugs?
Now Mary, how's about shakin′ it around a little
Oh my goodness, look at her go!

Oooh! I′m dancing!
Ain't this what living is really all about!

Here′s your fifty bucks, Mary
Oh great! Now I can go home!
Home is where the heart is
On the bus