Cops & Buns Songtext
von Frank Zappa

Now, we don′t come up here because we feel like walkin' four flights at three o′clock in the morning.
Yeah.
We were up here last night. Now for us . . .
Last night?
Yes
I wasn't here last night.
For us to continually come up to this here place every night
And not show no action other than to say,
Yes a corrective indictment . . .
Oh, sure this is ridiculous.
We look kinda bad. I mean, let's be honest
Now if you had to give me any kinda reccomendation, or mark my word, you′ll say,
"Who the hell′s kiddin' who?
This guy′s a mistake, every night,
Three to four, two to four, between those hours you
Guys are at 53 E 10 st, what are you doin' there every night?
You mean you, you permit this condition to continue on without once giving a summons?"
Alright, your lawyer said to knock it off!
Uh, we′re puttin' ourselves over backwards with these people
Do you know what we′re doin'?


Do you know what we're doin′?
No, tell me. Please tell me.
Alright. Well this is, if we′re up here once
We're up here twenty times
I know that little guy,
Like a, like the guy at the, like a long-lost brother
Now if we ever get called down,
If this ever goes to a big explosion, and they say,
"Officer, what did you do, did you issue summonses?"
They get, this is all in the rekkid book, how many times we′ve been up here.
This is all rekkids.
M-hmm.
Now if these people wanna subpoena these rekkids,
They can subpoena these rekkids
An' they can find out how many times we′ve been
This is us on, wait! This is us alone!
An' they say, "Officer, what did you do? Warn ′em?
You mean to tell me you were up here
About twenty times an you never issued a summons?"
There have been summonses
Well, WE never issued em!
How many summonses have you gotten for noise?
What, me personally, or the studio?
The studio! The studio
I don't know how many,
But there's a court case pending right now . . .
We′ve gotten one.
ONE! ONE! And how many times have I, eh, uh, hey listen!
As I say, if I′ve been up here once I've been up here twenty times already.
Hey look, stop it, pack that stuff up, stop making NOISE you guys!
Yeah, well, I understand, he didn′t know . . .
Well, who's in charge here at the studio?
Here he is.
In charge?
In charge
He′s more or less in charge
Are you in charge?
I don't run the studio, I just . . .
Alright, listen, lemme tell you one thing . . .
I′m in, I'm in charge
You're in charge at this point
Right
My name is Patrolman Lefemine
Here, have a BUN
Now, as of tonight . . .
Right
You want a BUN?
If I come back here, and every night that I do come back here
I don′t care who says he′s in charge,
I will issue a summons
I'm issuing you a bun
An′ anybody thinks it's a great joke, you can all laugh in the court
Yeah, I issue it
But, uh . . .
You guys ain′t got one hit record by now, my goodness.
We have, we have to . . .
It takes a long time.
You know what I mean. This is ridiculous!
Are you sure you don't want one of those breakfast rolls on your way down the stairs?
Yeah . . .
You better believe that I don′t want nuthin'
Who gets, who gets the summonses, is the, the organization?
Whoever it is in charge at the time
He could say Joe Blow, I don't care what kind of a name he gives me
Then if the courts decide,
If they wanna know who he′s takin′ orders from,
They'll summons that person to court
That′s all there is to it
Alright. Take care.
Right
Okay
Nighty-night!