Oprah vs Ellen Songtext
von Epic Rap Battles of History

EPIC RAP BATTLES OF HISTORY!
ELLEN DEGENERES
VS!
OPRAH WINFREY
BEGIN!

Hey God, it′s me Ellen
Can I ask you a question?
How do I tell my friend Oprah
She's gonna get more whipped than Stedman?
I′ll make her head spin
When it comes to rhymes I got a penchant
So if battling me is your intention
I better mention you're 'bout to get licked by a lesbian
Oh I′ll knock you off of your throne
Take a shot at everything you own
I got the skill to make Doctor Phil say
I think you better just leave her alone
You can tell Rachael Ray that my favorite recipe
Is chopping Oprah Winfrey up into a million little pieces


I′m the Queen of TV and I'm here to destroy ya
So check under your seat because I got something for ya
You can′t even hope to be as half as dope as Oprah
I'll attract my hands around your throat and Deepak choke ya
Girl your show′s a petting zoo, you do a week on kittens
And you dance like a chicken who snuck into Drunk Kitchen
You played a fish with brain damage, I'm a nominated actress
Name′s synonomous with power, spell it forwards or backwards

Yes you've got that power and yes I've got those kittens
I also feature puppies, talented children and mittens
I like cute things that make people smile
Make everybody feel good for a while
Do a little dance and the crowd goes wild
Kick you right back to the miracle mile
I thought I told ya your daytime reign is over
I′m jumping over Oprah like I′m Tom Cruise on a sofa
From ABC to LGBT
To NBC and now it's all me
I′m the best emcee and the biggest star
And I'll bite you in the ass like the tax on a free car


Your mouth is writing checks, your mullet can′t cash lady
I'll lodge my fabulous shoe up your suit pants baby
You follow my lead cause I paved the road for ya
You drive behind me in a secondhand Porsche
Check the Fortune 500, I′m a media wonder
The Dalai Lama and Obama memorize my cell number
Try to beef with me
I'll make the whole market crash honey
Once you go Oprah
You can't go back

WHO WON?
WHO′S NEXT?
YOU DECIDE! YOU DECIDE! YOU DECIDE! YOU DECIDE! YOU DECIDE!
EPIC RAP BATTLES OF HISTORY!