If I Were A Pirate Ninja Zombie Songtext
von Captain Ambivalent

If I were a pirate I would carry off your heart
Swing down from the rigging with my parrot, saying "Arrr"
You must admit a pirate ship is cooler than a car
And if I were a pirate you would love me

′Cause if I were a pirate I would know just what to do
I would take you to an island far across the ocean blue
I would lock you in a secret cave and then I'd kill my crew
Oh, If I were a pirate, I′d love you

If I were a ninja I would steal away your heart
Silently I'd strike out from the shadows in the dark
You wouldn't notice it was gone until you saw my mark
And if I were a ninja, you would love me

′Cause if I were a ninja, I would know just what to do
I would sweep you off your feet with all my special ninja moves
All the secret ones you read about in ninja FAQs
Oh, If I were a ninja, I′d love you


If I were a zombie, I'd refuse to eat your heart
Brains or spleen or pancreas or any other part
I′d be there for you when you broke down by some deserted farm
And if I were a zombie you would love me

'Cause if I were a zombie, I would know just what to do
I would rise up from my shallow grave beneath the toxic goo
I would bite you just enough that you could be a zombie too
Oh, If I were a zombie I′d love you

But if I were a pirate ninja zombie, that'd be best
I would blow your mind with the combined advantages
The ride, the moves, the hickies baby
How could you resist?
Oh, If I were a pirate ninja zombie

′Cause if I were a pirate ninja zombie, I would rule!
I'd be sitting high atop the pinnacle of cool
I'd be all over the Internet and all the talk shows too
Oh, If I were a pirate ninja zombie
If I were a pirate ninja zombie