Car Thief Songtext
von Beastie Boys

Some static started in the pool hall
Hit a motherfucker′s face with the cue ball
And I met this girl, she tried to gank me
So I smacked her in the booty with a plank, B

'Cause me and my crew, we′re out breaking windows
The bingo, the lotto, you know I'll never win those
Possession is half the law
I had my routines before all of y'all

Your whole life is coming apart at the seams
You ain′t nothing but a car thief biting routines
See, I′m a city slicker, I, I ain't no townie
Right now I wish I had another hash brownie

And like Ricky always said, "You′ve got to toke and pass"
Or Mookie's gonna kick your motherfucking ass
Try to take what isn′t yours, like a goddamn rat
See I, personally, I wouldn't even wanna go out like that


I′m a writer, a poet, a genius, I know it
I don't buy cheeba, I grow it (I'm a farmer)
People always trying to get next to me
I had a beautiful experience on ecstasy

I smoked up a bag of elephant tranquilizer
Because I had to deal with a money-hungry miser
Had a ′caine filled Kool with my man, Rush Rush
Saw my teeth fall in the sink when I started to brush

You be doing nose candy on the Bowie coke mirror
My girl asked for some but I pretended not to hear her
You can′t deny me, you always want to try me
Yo, you're just gonna get your ass kicked

Homeboy, throw in the towel
Your girl got dicked by Ricky Powell
The Godfather of Soul in the belly of the beast
Smoking that dust at St. Anthony′s Feast

All the wife beaters and all the tax cheaters
Sitting in the White House, pulling their peters
Buy my cheeba from the cop down the street
The only cop with a rope chain when he's walking the beat


So like a sneaky pouch time-bomb tickin′
A-like the beat to my rhyme just kickin'
Space cake cookies, I discover who I am
I′m a dusted old bummy Hurdy Gurdy Man

Five-O caught me, now I'm going to the mountains
Said goodbye to my girl, my lawyer and accountants
My mind is kinda rhymin' and I think I oughta think
So I′m rockin′ all the rhymes and I'll have another drink

So the lights are flashin′, my mind is spinnin'
I feel like it is always the beginning of another rhyme
I′m rappin', MCin′, I rock
You ain't nothin' but a car thief who must be stopped