Whip Your Kids Songtext
von Your Favorite Martian

I don′t know if you're aware, but your kids suck ass
If you need someone to whip ′em then, ha just ask
'Cause they ain't as perfect as you say they is
They ain′t perfect at all
You′re raising bebe's kids

I′m sorry, I don't know you
I don′t mean to get pissy
But you need to discipline your bratty kids, you hippy
Like come here you little jerk
Taste the back of my palm
But you ain't my daddy!
Nah, but I′m doing your mom

Now I know you think they're angels
But they're driving me insane
I′ll punch a baby in the face
Just for cryin′ on a plane
'Cause I don′t mess around
You need to control 'em or I′ll lose it


(But I made you a drawing)
Shut the fuck up, kid. that's stupid
Now I′m a get my truck
I'm a load all my boys in back
I'm a find out where you live and break all your toys in half
And I know it ain′t your birthday
But when nobody′s lookin'
I′m a give you a little present
(What?) An ass-whoopin'

Please may I whip your kids? (Whip your kids)
Please, may I whip your kids? (Whip your kids)
Please, may I whip your kids? (Whip your kids)
Please, may I whip your kids? (I wanna whip your kids)
Please, may I whip your kids? (Please, let me whip your kids)
Please, may I whip your kids? (I wanna whip your kids)
Please, may I whip your kids? (Please, let me whip your kids)
Please, may I whip your kids? (I wanna whip your kids)

I never ever thought I′d say a kid deserved to get hit
But it's obvious time-out ain′t working for shit!
Yeah, I've seen your parenting style, it ain't all that
You gotta hit the little brat with a whiffle ball bat
′Cause this is obviously more than just a youthful rebellion
You gotta belt the little hellions with a belt when they′re yellin'
′Cause you don't want me to do it
′Cause I'll paint their little brains all over the wall
When I spank ′em with a chainsaw


And why are they acting wild and loose?
If they deserve the ass-whoopin', it ain't child abuse
When I′m tryin′ to buy groceries, and they're muckin′ up my style
They're like drunkin′ little midgets runnin' up and down the aisle
Touching everything in sight, and geez for christ′s sake
I think one of 'em just stuck his little penis in my cake
And now I'm a have to put it back and get a new one and it bugs me

But mommy says I′m beautiful
Shut the fuck up kid, you′re ugly

Please may I whip your kids? (Whip your kids)
Please, may I whip your kids? (Whip your kids)
Please, may I whip your kids? (Whip your kids)
Please, may I whip your kids? (I wanna whip your kids)
Please, may I whip your kids? (Please, let me whip your kids)
Please, may I whip your kids? (I wanna whip your kids)
Please, may I whip your kids? (Please, let me whip your kids)
Please, may I whip your kids? (I wanna whip your kids)

Please, let me whip your children
Please, let me whip your kids
I can't stand kids misbehaving, running around and disobeying
All they need is a kick in the pants
A punt in the butt
A lesson that will finally shut ′em up
Please, let me whip your children
Please, let me whip your kids

Please, may I whip your kids? (Whip your kids)
Please, may I whip your kids? (Whip your kids)
Please, may I whip your kids? (Whip your kids)
Please, may I whip your kids? (I'm gonna whip, I gotta whip)
Please, may I whip your kids? (Whip your kids)
Please, may I whip your kids? (I′m gonna whip your kids)
Please, may I whip your kids? (I'm gonna whip your kids)
Please, may I whip your kids? (I′m gonna whip your kids)

Oh, come on people, it's a joke
We would never hit anyone's kid, come on
I love kids
Come here and give me a hug you little rugrats
Hey, what, what the, what?