Date Myself Songtext
von Your Favorite Martian

(You ever feel like you′re dating the same type of person)
(Over and over again?)

She said
She's not really into me (nope)
She said
We ain′t got no chemistry (what?)
She said
She's already sick of me (ah!)
Oh well-well-well-well
Well-well-well-well

I'm getting sick and tired of the first dates
I′m doing my best but they just go south
I never should have tried in the first place
I should have just stayed back at my house
It feels like a damn job interview
I gotta impress her with who I am
Plus I gotta pay for the dinner too
Why does it feel like I just got scammed? (Ah!)


I′m not that impressive
I'm way below average
I live with my grandma
My bank′s overdrafting
My band's gonna make it, one day it′ll happen
So why do I do it?
I hate all this madness (ugh!)
I feel like I could be a perfect mate, but it's useless
Whenever I ask for a second date, they always make excuses (come on)

She said
She′s not really into me
She said
We ain't got no chemistry
She said
She's already sick of me
Oh well
I′m just gonna date myself
(I don′t like anyone else)
(I'm gonna date myself)
(I don′t like anyone else)
(I'm gonna date myself)


Dating myself is pretty amazing
There′s a lot of things we have similar tastes in (yup)
He plays Skyrim and Civilizations
His favorite bagel: Cinnamon raisin (hey)
His jokes are funny
I'm always laughing
He dresses nice
We always matching
He′s good at rappin'
His beats are slappin'
Plus he′s really attractive (yeah)

We like the same movies (yeah)
We got the same passions
We eat the same food
(I′ll have what he's havin′)
I was just tryin' to find myself
And now I′m beside myself
The last girl that I was with said "Go fuck yourself"
So I did (come here)

She said
She's not really into me (nope)
She said
We ain′t got no chemistry (yeah, we do)
She said
She's already sick of me (hey)
Oh well
I'm just gonna date myself
(I don′t like anyone else)
(I′m gonna date myself)
(I don't like anyone else)
(I′m gonna date myself)

I'm getting sick and tired of the worst dates
I′m doing my best but they just go south (damn)
I never should have tried in the first place
I should have just stayed back at my house (aw!)
Now a couple of months have gone by
I can't believe we′re still dating (still?)
'Cuz now I can't stand the guy
I think I′m starting to hate him (ugh!)

He′s not that impressive
He's way below average
He lives with his grandma
His bank′s overdrafting
His band really sucks, he'll never make it
He′s not that attractive
Especially when naked
I'm breaking up with him
I′m kicking him out
The issue with that is he lives in my house (hey)
The more that I'm with him, the more that I see
The problem ain't him, the problem is me (huh?)

He said
I′m not really into me (no)
He said
We ain′t got no chemistry (no)
He said
I'm already sick of me (go away!)
Oh well
I′m not gonna date myself
I want someone else (someone else)
I don't wanna date myself (date myself)
I want someone else (anyone but me)
I don′t wanna date myself (no)

And so it turns out, he was cheating on me the whole time
With another me, so, yeah