Bottles of Beer Songtext
von Your Favorite Martian

I was chilling with my BUD, SAM ADAMS
We get a call from MILLER, the man was having spasms
And he said, "Dude get dressed, there′s not a chance in hell
That we could miss this keg party up in SAN MIGUEL"

"Do I have to go out, dude?"
"No, but that Mexican chick CORONA'S there
And she′s been asking about you."
I hung up the phone, it's time to get dressed
I put on my MAGIC HAT and my shirt with the RED STRIPE

We hit a BUSCH dodging traffic as we passed by 'em
In that KILLIAN′S RED charger with the FAT TIREs
Drivin′ round for like half the night
Luckily, the BLUE MOON provided NATURAL LIGHT

We rolled up to the party, errybody was rockin'
Playing BECK′S old single on that iPod dock
And that's where it′s at
My ears were all ringing
The party crowd was getting loud, and errybody starting singing


99 bottles of beer on the wall
99 bottles of beer
You take one down, you pass it around
You got 99 bottles of beer on the wall

99 bottles of beer on the wall
99 bottles of beer
You take one down, you pass it around
You got 99 bottles of beer on the wall

Now everyone was crammed in the basement, wasted
Even ASAHI, that foreign exchange kid
He was just in KINGFISHER, wreckin' his Vette
Like automobile, big leck

I poured myself a brew and drank half the glass
This ugly MOOSEHEAD chick kept grabbing my ass
I told that ugly HARP that she could go to hell
And then I saw CORONA, and she was looking STE-STE-STELLA

And down to have some fun
She was still a freshman, a YUENGLING with a tongue-ring
The alcohol was all clouding my thinking
So I slapped her on the HEINY, "Can I get you a drink?"


And she said, "Ha! You′re totally cute
And if you fetch me a beer, I'll let you touch my boob"
Hell yeah, I went to get her a drink
Then the party started moving, and erryone was all singing

99 bottles of beer on the wall
99 bottles of beer
You take one down, you pass it around
You got 99 bottles of beer on the wall

99 bottles of beer on the wall
99 bottles of beer
You take one down, you pass it around
You got 99 bottles of beer on the wall

Now CORONA'S ex-boyfriend started talking to me
His FOSTER parents nicknamed him MILWAUKEE′S BEAST
′Cause dude was big enough that he could tackle the world
He was like "Hey Broski, you're jacking my girl
I should bust your SKULL. You look like a queer
I′m gonna challenge you to a game of beer pong"

"Of COORS! Challenge accepted"
"You can call me GUINNESS, 'cause I′m touting the record"
Beer pong's my game, and with my shoulder cocked
I bounced that ball in the cup like a ROLLING ROCK

We played for a while and I was wooing them when
I showed everyone who′d win the BLUE RIBBON... PABST
And CORONA was like, "Wow!
You can totally touch my boob now"

I was EL PRESIDENTE
Or maybe a king with my CORONA
In my NEW CASTLE, errybody started singing

99 bottles of beer on the wall
99 bottles of beer
You take one down, you pass it around
You got 99 bottles of beer on the wall

99 bottles of beer on the wall
99 bottles of beer
You take one down, you pass it around
You got 99 bottles of beer on the wall