The Ballad of Hollywood Jack and the Rage Kage Songtext
von Tenacious D

This is the ballad of Hollywood Jack and the Rage Kage
Nothin′ could stop him when Jables and Kage hit the stage
And Hollywood Jack hit the big time and went to make movies
Rage Kage was left far behind in the dust of his dreams

And he grumbled and growled and watched Hollywood Jack on Jay Leno
He bellowed and said he'd be nothing without help from Kage
He burned up the photos of Jables and Kage doin′ mushrooms
Fuck him! I don't need no Hollywood Jack, anyway

So Hollywood Jack lived up high on a hill in a bubble
And Rage Kage lived deep in the broiling valley below
Yes the Rage Kage bubbled with rage
He looked at the ground and he looked on the stage
The lava was flowin' and broilin′ inside the old Kage

As Hollywood Jack climbed the ladder of stardom before him
He watched as his indie credentials flew right out the door
He′d make millions and then he'd go out and make even more millions
He′d screen KG's calls and snort coke off the ass of a whore


No one respected him, they just rejected him
No one would represent Kage
Left on the streets of his dreams he would cry
And he′d rage, for the stage

Then Hollywood Jack got a message that Kage was in trouble
They sent Kage away cause he had gone completely insane
So Hollywood Jack jumped upon a jet plane
And flew all that night through the rain
To be with his friend, to see what remained of his brain

Then Hollywood Jack told the doctors, "You've got to retrieve him
You′ve got the technology, use the techniques of your trade
He grabbed the lapels and he screamed, "By God, you must save him
Because Rage Kage and I, can't you see that we're one in the same?

Rage Kage
Oh, Rage Kage
There be magic inside that old name

And you know
That you know
When you′re going completely insane

Ah, the Rage Kage
Ah, the Rage Kage
Oh, the lion will roar once again


And you know
Yes, you know
When you′re going completely insane

Nothing and no one could harm the old Rage Kage again
Nothing and no one could harm the old Rage Kage again
Nothing and no one could harm the old Rage Kage again
Nothing and no one could harm the old Rage Kage again
Nothing and no one could harm the old Rage Kage again
Hollywood Jack and Rage Kage will ride once again