Mixer at Delta Chi Songtext
von Stephen Lynch

It′s college time again,
September's almost here.
Hangin′ with freshmen girls,
Frat party kegs of beer.

I see a girl I'm wantin',
Mixer at Delta Chi.
We take some oxycontin,
Dave Matthews gettin′ high.

And then, as I undress her
And start my stimulus,
She says, "But wait... Professor,
This wasn′t on the syllabus!"

I'm the bad professor.
I′m the bad professor.
A tenured titty caresser,
I'm a bad, bad man.


Tutor her at my apartment,
Turns into a slow dance.
Hey, baby, what′s your minor?
Got your major in my pants!

I love her student body,
She wants a better grade,
I say if you roll over,
I'll throw in financial aid!

I hope you′ve boned up for your midterm.
If you want, I can help you cram.
Don't give a shit about the essay test,
So let's skip it and get to the oral exam!

I′m a bad professor.
(That′s a blow job reference.)
I'm a bad professor.
Your money′s on the dresser.
I'm a bad, bad... man.