Lion Songtext
von Stephen Lynch

"Howdy, folks. This next song is a story of a gal who just
couldn′t choose between two fellers. One was about the nicest
guy you ever met, and the other one, well, he's kind of a
dick. Let′s listen in as these boys settle it the only way
they know how; through singing. And a 1, and a 2... "

Make a choice, will it be
A guy who really, really loves you baby, baby
Or a guy like me?

I would comfort you when you're sad
Well, I would just leave you crying
I would protect you if a lion attacked you
Not trying to fuck with no lion

I would fight a man for your honor
I don't know no kung fu
I′d carry you across a muddy field
Bitch, these Jordans are new

Make a choice, will it be
A guy who really, really loves you baby, baby
Or a guy like me?


I would read you romantic poetry
I′ll leave that shit on the shelf
My love making would be sweet and tender
This thing ain't sucking itself, no

I would take you to the finest restaurants
Here′s an old Baby Ruth
I would tell you how pretty you look tonight
And I would tell you the truth

Make a choice, will it be
A guy who really, really loves you baby, baby
Or a guy like me?

But ba-by, baby
The choice is up to you
So pick me quickly
'Cause I′ve got shit to do
It's true dear, I do dear
I want you to be mine
But let′s be clear here
I'm still not fighting no lion...

"Let's see what happens next...


Every day I′d say how much I love you
... I would not
I′d surprise you with gifts and flowers
I'd spend your money on pot, yeah

We would stay up all night just talking
I′d fall asleep when I came
I'd spell your name out with a thousand rose petals
I don′t remember your name!

Make a choice - will it be
A guy who really, really loves you baby, baby
Or a guy like me?

Make a choice - will it be
A guy who really, really loves you baby, baby
Or a guy like me?

"See? I told you he was kind of a dick."