Half a Man Songtext
von Stephen Lynch

All my days
I live with my disgrace
I′m afraid to show my face
Or at least take off my underwear

See I was born
Like a half way neutered pet
I don't have a matching set
It′s a part of me
That just ain't there
Please, don't stare

Well I′m a gambling man without two dice
I′m like Uncle Ben with only one grain of rice
Oh to have two testis would be so nice
But I'm half a man
Yeah, I′m half a man


Wanna die
end it all, just call it quits
I can't find a cup that fits
And at baseball games I feel so dumb
When I hear "ball one"?

Oh, my God
How could you have been so cruel
To give me one family jewel
And the one that′s there must feel so sad
He's a lonely man

Well I′m a marathon runner with just one leg
I'm a fallopian tube with just one egg
Oh, I want another testi
Do I have to beg?
I'm half a man

Well I′m a tweedle dee with no tweedle dum
And I′m a Siskel and an Ebert with just one thumb
And I'm a Yo Ho Ho with no bottle of rum
I′m just half a man
Yeah, I'm half a man