Intro (WFUK AM 420) Songtext
von Rehab

(Brooks Buford) W-F-U-K AM 420 now interrupts your regular radio programming for broadcast of the One Duck County Demon game.
Chuck Janke (Brooks Buford): Hey pussies, and welcome to the first game of the new season. I′m Chuck Janke.
Wink Dinkerson (Danny Boone): And this is Wink Dinkerson. I tell ya, it was a rough year for our guys last season.
CJ: Sure was. Well, it started off good, but then just went to straight fecal matter thrown into a DC-10 engine, if ya know what I mean!
WD: Yeah, some real turd action.
CJ: Yeah, a shit-twister, if you will!
WD: Yeah, I heard Danny Boone had stomach surgery.
CJ: Sure did.
WD: Apparently his liver fell out in his Warner Robbins home.
CJ: God, what a dick. WD: Really.
CJ: Yeah, Brooks Buford ended up in the ER with a hole in his nose.
WD: Yeah, and we all know what that was from.
CJ: We sure do. God, what an asshole.
WD: Who does he think he is? Darryl Strawberry? Geeze louise.
CJ: Yeah, he's a little Robert Downey, Jr. Yeah, well, it looks like they′re about to come out on the field now.
WD: Well, folks, let's hope for a better season than the last. America -
CJ: Tell 'em Wink.
WD: Heeeeeeeeeeeeere come the Demons!