Ikea Songtext
von Jonathan Coulton

Long ago in days of yore
It all began with a god named Thor
There were Vikings and boats
And some plans for a furniture store
It′s not a bodega, it's not a mall
And they sell things for apartments smaller than mine
As if there were apartments smaller than mine

Ikea (Ikea), just some oak and some pine and a handful of Norsemen
Ikea (Ikea), selling furniture for college kids and divorced men
Everyone has a home
But if you don′t have a home, you can buy one there

So rent a car or take the bus
Lay your cash down and put your trust
In the land where the furniture folds
To a much smaller size
Billy the bookcase says hello
And so does a table whose name is Ingo
And the chair is a ladder-back birch, but his friends call him Karl


Ikea (Ikea), just some oak and some pine and a handful of Norsemen
Ikea (Ikea), selling furniture for college kids and divorced men
Everyone has a home
But if you don't have a home, you can buy one there

Ikea: plywood, brushed steel
Ikea: meatballs, tasty
Ikea: Allen wrenches
All of them for free, all of them for me

I'm sorry, I said Ikea sucks
I just bought a table for 60 bucks
And a chair and a lamp
And a shelf and some candles for you
I was a doubter just like you
Till I saw the American dream come true
In New Jersey, they got a goddamned Swedish parade

Ikea (Ikea), just some oak and some pine and a handful of Norsemen
Ikea (Ikea), selling furniture for college kids and divorced men
Everyone has a home
But if you don′t have a home, you can buy one there