Trying His Best Songtext
von John Mulaney

Now when people make fun of me,
I deserve it, I do
When people get mad at me now it′s my fault,
I mean when people get mad at me on the highway
It's-it′s all my bad
I'm a terrible driver I know nothing about cars
I meant to learn about cars, and then I forgot

And nothing that I know can help you with your car, ever
Unless you're like "hey I′ve got a flat tire!
Does anybody here know a lot about the Cosby Show?"
And I′m like "oh perhaps I can be of some assistance"


I'm one of the worst driver I′ve ever seen,
And I just want you all to know that
If you're ever on the highway behind me, uh
I hear you honking,
And I also don′t want me to be doing what I'm doing
I don′t like that I'm in that lane either
And I sure would like to get out of it

I was on the highway in Texas recently
Which was like a highway filled with thirteen-year-olds
And I was in the far left lane
And I was going in the far left lane
And then it turned into a U-turn only lane
And I started to make a U-turn but then I panicked
Because I didn't want to make a U-turn!
So I put the car in reverse,
And then merged right back onto the highway

The best thing about that is that after that,
Cars were pulling up and looking over,
To see who just did that piece of shit move
Expecting to see like a hundred-year-old blind dog,
Who′s texting while driving, and drinking a smoothie
Instead, they see a 28-year-old healthy man trying his best