Grandma's Boyfriend Paul Songtext
von John Mulaney

Grandma′s got a boyfriend (Grandma's got a boyfriend)
It′s a little weird at first
But then you say it twice
Grandma's got a boyfriend and I think he's pretty nice
Grandma′s got a boyfriend and the boyfriend′s name is Paul
(Grandma's got a boyfriend)

Everyone don′t like him
He's almost eighty-eight
My aunts say they don′t trust him
But me? I think he's great!
Grandma′s boyfriend Paul, no they don't like Paul at all
(Grandma's got a boyfriend)

Why does everyone hate Paul?
He ain′t kill my Grandpa!
He don′t do nothing at all
He just reads his mysteries yeah, you can solve them, Paul
Grandma's boyfriend, Paul
(Grandma′s got a boyfriend)


I asked mom, "What's the fuss?
Grandma′s in love again"
Mom said, "But Paul, he's always humming Gilbert and Sullivan"
That ain′t fair to Paul
That he shouldn't hum at all
(He also eats all the cashews)

His son lives down in Maryland
I guess he lost his wife
I should ask, "What's your story, man?"
I bet old Paul had quite a life
Grandma′s boyfriend Paul, he calls waiters garçon
(The fella fought on D-Day)

Grandma brought Paul to our cousin′s christening
She wore a brooch that Grandpa gave to her before he died
Well my mom and aunts, hell they went crazy
They yelled about the brooch till Grandma cried
(Don't you make Grandma cry)

Paul, lord, he tried to intervene
(No, no Paul, big mistake)
I said, "Paul, listen this is not your fight"
(Stay out of it, Paul)
These women would love a reason to destroy you
Easily provoked
Those screamed, "You′re not out dad!" at you all night


Mom, I know you miss your dad
Hell, I miss Grandpa too!
But it ain't Paul′s fault that he's gone, so what is wrong with you?
Grandma′s got a boyfriend, and her boyfriend's name is Paul
Grandma's got a boyfriend, I really like you Paul
(Grandma′s got a boyfriend)

Grandma′s got a boyfriend, I really like you, Paul