Pay Attention! Songtext
von John Mulaney

You promised that you′d stop talking
When will the chattering end?
You know I practiced for hours
I even brought in a friend

Well, I recall an announcement
That Lexi's mother just gave
She said, "Our little Lexi′s prepared us a skit."
The kind you're going to crave

No one is paying attention
That guy just went to the fridge
We don't do this for the money
We don′t accept every gig

Well guess what things you are missing
What we had planned for this crowd
Four minutes of total perfection
But that bald guy talked too loud


I′d wear my mom's blazer
So I could play a newscaster
The news is that there is a new funny song
You′d all burst in to cheers and laughter

We'd stuff pillows in shirts to look fat
We′d take a blanket and wrap up the cat
The cat would be our baby too
Are we some kind of joke to you?

And then...
We'd both act out all of Frozen
Then I would do a cartwheel
And then when she′s done a cartwheel
I will also do a cartwheel

But you don't value our vision
You keep talking while we lip synch
And mom, whose side is it you're on?
Shooshing all your friends with a wink


You have to pay attention
This is a very big deal
We even fought about who sang what
But now our friendship is healed
You are not paying attention
So watch us run off in tears
You will regret the skit you missed out on
You will regret it for years

Mom′s friend Patti (Pay attention!)
Her adult son (Pay attention!)
Some guy′s wife (Pay attention!)
Dad's rich friend (Pay attention!)
Man with mustache (We respect you!)
Former teacher (Weird to see you)
Ronald Reagan (Pay attention!)
Oh, wait... He died
Never mind!
Everybody, pay attention!
Look at us! (Pay attention!)
Don′t look away (Pay attention!)
Pay attention!
Pay attention!