The Trumpton Riots Songtext
von Half Man Half Biscuit

Unemployment′s rising in the Chigley end of town
And it's spreading like pneumonia
Doesn′t look like going down
There's trouble at the fire station, someone's had the sack
And the lads are going to launch a scheme to get rid of Captain Flack

Tell PC McGarry to get himself a mate
And arm themselves with CS gas
They′re gonna be out late
We′ve had "Can't conformism" since 1966
And now subversion′s in the air in the shape of flying bricks, shh

Someone get a message through to Captain Snort
That they'd better start assembling the boys from the fort
And keep Mrs Honeyman right out of sight
′Cause there's gonna be a riot down in Trumpton tonight


All this aristocracy has really got to stop
We can overthrow the surgery and kidnap Dr Mopp
And Chippy Minton′s Socialists could storm the Market Square
And make plans to assassinate our autocratic Mayor

Windy Militant leads his Basque-like corn grinders to war
With windmill sails and bombs with nails, they smash the town hall door
But Snorty and his boys arrive with one big erstwhile crew
Whereupon they bring about a military coup

Someone get a message through to Captain Snort
That they'd better start assembling the boys from the fort
And keep Mrs Honeyman right out of sight
'Cause there′s gonna be a riot down in Trumpton tonight

Oh, someone get a message through to Captain Snort
That they′d better start assembling the boys from the fort
And keep Mrs Honeyman right out of sight
'Cause there′s gonna be a riot down in Trumpton tonight