Election Debate Rap Battle Songtext
von Dan Bull

"In a bid to appeal to the younger electorates
The leaders of the three main parties have agreed to a fourth televised debate
In the form of a rap battle.
Gentlemen, introduce yourselves."


BROWN: Gordon Brown, Labour Prime Minister
My style′s like my temper; quite sinister.
CAMERON: I represent the Tories, my name's David Cameron
The chap with more flash than a cameraman.
CLEGG: I′m Nick Clegg, the head of the Lib Dems
My timing on the mic is as precise as Big Ben.
BROWN: Labour's done amazing things over the last ten years.
CAMERON: Two wars, a recession, and cash for peers!
Like I said; too many twits make a twat
And too many years in power make that.
BROWN: Vote for Labour.
CAMERON: No, vote Tory.
BROWN: Labour.
CAMERON: Tory.
CLEGG: Hello! Don't ignore me!
While these two are stuck in an argument
I′m the one with real power in a hung Parliament.
To vote Lib Dems is to vote for change.
CAMERON: Uh, no, it′s to throw your vote away.
CLEGG: We're not like the other two - we don′t pretend to be.
BROWN: We know. You haven't even governed for a century.
CLEGG: There′s no confidence in the encumbrance and Cameron's incompetent.
CAMERON: Well, you′re a .
Nick: the Tory party's all about family.
That's why I like to drag mine out to stand with me.
BROWN: Well, I′ll never use my kids as props;
That is until my approval rating drops.
CLEGG: Talking about my private life′s forbidden
Though I have slept with 30 women.
BROWN: Personally, I don't like women - they′re bigoted
CLEGG: Uh, Gordon, your mic's still transmitting.
BROWN: Flipping heck! I offer my sincerest apologies.
CAMERON: That gaff was a bigger cock-up than your policies.
BROWN: How can you talk about democracy
With that spoon stuck in your mouth by the aristocracy?
CAMERON: I don′t approve of this.
BROWN: Then get on your bike.
CLEGG: Can I sit in the car following behind?
BROWN: No. You're a third wheel.
CAMERON: Unstabilised.
CLEGG: Whoever wins, I′m being taken for a ride.
BROWN: Right, there's only one fair way we can decide.
Come on, posh boy: STEP OUTSIDE.