Miracle of Judaism Songtext
von William Finn

Dot Nardoni, Tiffany Axelrod
Zoe Feinstein, Angelina Dellibovi
Bunny Doyne, or what′s her name
Mo Cristofaro, or Heather Levin
Brittany Rosenthal, which
Flo Giu... Giu... what is the name of that bitch?
Flo Giuseppe, right, but it borders on kitsch

Of these girls
Which should I invite to my bar mitzvah?
I've a problem to flaunt
I don′t want the girls I should want
Batter up!


I want girls for whom I lust
Girls who wear a lot of makeup
Girls who smoke and show their bust
Girls with whom I always wake up
Strike one!

Would they come though
If they were invited?
And not
Laugh at my Hebrew
And not
Laugh at my father and his friends
Strike two!

Excluding them, I find exciting
And I'm left with them, I'll be inviting
Selecting girls for one′s bar mitzvah
God, that′s the miracle of Judaism
Strike three, you're out!

That′d be the miracle of Judaism