Straight White Male Songtext
von Tom MacDonald

Straight white male, hate myself
Mad that my skin′s so pale
Got white privilege, so I cannot fail
The world told me I'm evil still
I break the law, but I escape the jail
My diet only mayonnaise and kale
I went to school, and I paid my taxes
I use good grammar, I′m bad as hell

I'm not a Nazi
I like black people, black Jesus, black Santa, black coffee
I'm not a racist
I like Hispanics and Negroes and Natives and Asians
Black Power says I′m the problem
Girl Power says I′m the issue
Gay rights think I'm tryna stop ′em
All of y'all trippin′, I'll get you some tissues


Y′all have been paintin' me villainous
I'm not the one settin′ fire to your villages
I′m not the man that is rapin' and pillagin′
I do not care if my neighbors are immigrants
Maybe all whites look the same
And you think that I'm somebody else, so it′s cool
Honestly, I think that everyone looks alike
If they aren't white, and I′m sorry, it's true

Straight white male
I have it all, I'm the one that you love to hate
Straight white male
Police pull me over, I L-O-L in they face
Straight white male
Guess I′m to blame for the life that you can′t escape
Straight white male
It's so easy to be me, hee-hee-hee-hee, I′m feelin' great

Straight white male, I′m so frail
Momma gotta pay my bail
Shotguns and meth are both on sale
I'ma need to treat myself
I only listen to country music
I only marry my second cousins
I only cry when my team is losin′
I blame everything on the blacks and the Muslims


Y'all blame me for buildin' the system
Y′all blame me for wages we′re payin' the women
Y′all blame me for rights that gay people aren't given
You blame me for talkin′ when I should just listen
You blame me the same and then praise that we winnin'
And hate me for slavery, and lately I′m trippin'
That daily you shame me for havin' opinions
On race and our country and everything in it

Fine, y′all don′t gotta be my friends
Y'all don′t gotta like white men
Y'all don′t gotta hold my hand
Y'all don′t gotta have my back
Y'all don't gotta, y′all don′t gotta, y'all don′t gotta, uh
Y'all don′t gotta see my side
Y'all don′t gotta be down to ride
Y'all don't gotta do anything but ghost
And I′ma do me even when it′s the most, yeah

Straight white male
I have it all, I'm the one that you love to hate
Straight white male
Police pull me over, I L-O-L in they face
Straight white male
Guess I′m to blame for the life that you can't escape
Straight white male
It′s so easy to be me, hee-hee-hee-hee, I'm feelin′ great

Man you're so mean, you're so racist, you′re ugly, you′re so basic
You said that som'in′, som'in′, som'in′, N-word, retard, Satan
I can't believe the bullshit song lyrics that you're okay with
Kill yourself while I′m on Facebook, I want the notification
I don′t care, y'all ain′t right, I'll be prayin′ that you die
I'll be doin′ my own thing, I hope you're happy with your life
You're a Nazi, you′re a moron, you′re a huge waste of my time
I'm just straight and white and male, I′m not the worst, I'm just a guy

Straight white male
I have it all, I′m the one that you love to hate
Straight white male
Police pull me over, I L-O-L in they face
Straight white male
Guess I'm to blame for the life that you can′t escape
Straight white male
It's so easy to be me, hee-hee-hee-hee, I'm feelin′ great