I Don’t Drink Songtext
von Tom MacDonald

I screwed up, I just wanna say I′m sorry
It's all my fault, you should probably ignore me
Oh my God, should′ve given you a warning
All my friends are sick and tired of the story

I don't drink, 'cause when I′m drunk I′m annoying
Call your phone when it's three in the morning
Start a fight, parked a whip in your garden
Prolly think, I am mentally retarded

Please don′t call me crazy 'cause I′m not (because I'm not)
Last night, I had one too many shots (too many shots)
Blacked out, got arrested by the cops (woo)
Woke up on the neighbour′s front lawn

Every time that I'm hungover, I convince myself I'm dying
Where the hell′d my pants go and why is my girlfriend crying?
I say that I remember what I did, but I am lying
There′s a tattoo on my butt-cheek
It's a beer can and he′s smiling


I'm pretty sure that last night went down in history
We made it out alive and that′s a victory
Black eyes and minor injuries
We lost a fight together, that's a win to me

I don′t drink, 'cause when I'm drunk I′m retarded
Ask around, I′m the life of the party
Hold my beer 'cause I′m only getting started
Who cares about tomorrow and the misery?

I'm a mess and I know you don′t deserve it
You're the best and I′m a pretty stupid person
Nonetheless you try to help me 'cause I'm hurting
I confess, sometimes I feel like I′m not worth it

I don′t drink 'cause when I′m drunk I'm a problem (OK)
I don′t care who I hurt, I feel awesome (I feel awesome)
Holy crap, it's either jail or a coffin
Soon enough, I′ma be at rock bottom (yeah)

Please help, tell me how'd I end up here (where am I?)
Last night I had one too many beers (too many beers)
Flashbacks but I can't remember clear
Why I texted all my exes and we haven′t spoke in years


Every time that I′m hungover, last night doesn't feel so funny
I threw up all my front step and I wasted all my money
I got naked in a night club, right in front of all my buddies
Then I went home with some girl I thought was hot but she is ugly

I′m pretty sure that last night went down in history
We made it out alive and that's a victory
Black eyes and minor injuries
We lost a fight together, that′s a win to me

I don't drink ′cause when I'm drunk I'm retarded
Ask around, I′m the life of the party
Hold my beer ′cause I'm only getting started
Who cares about tomorrow and the misery?

Call my phone
Okay, be quiet, can you hear it?
I don′t hear it
Damn oh no, my sexy photos, can we clear it?
We need to clear it

I'm pretty sure that last night went down in history
We made it out alive and that′s a victory
Black eyes and minor injuries
We lost a fight together, that's a win to me

I don′t drink 'cause when I'm drunk I′m retarded
Ask around, I′m the life of the party
Hold my beer 'cause I′m only getting started
Who cares about tomorrow and the misery?

Hello?
Hello, babe
Hello, babe
I was just recording me calling you so I could put it in the song
Oh, okay
I love you
I love you, too
Bye
Bye