Toad Hirer (Vocals Only) Songtext
von Toehider

I′m asked that a lot, but no, that's not me
I′ve nothing to hide, the opposite actually
Folks come here looking for him, it's a common mistake
Hey since you're here
Can I show you these clocks that I made?

Welcome to Tiny Time Hall
That′s what this hall′s called
Hah, okay hold your applause
I'd love to work outta somewhere drier
But this is all I can afford (All he can afford)
Just a knot clump, a splintery sap bump
In an old tree stump
Obscured by moss and grass and rocks
Small spot, my little workshop
For my mini time clocks
That never tick, only tock!


I′m Toad Hirer, pleased to meet you, blighter
I'm glad you′ve come my way
I know toads only, god I get so lonely
Awhile you stay?

My little noble practising of clock dispatching
The workload kind of started catching up with me
I need a team of workers who are rough and scratchy
For I have some very strict deadlines indeed
Star fingered toadies, mmm they do just nicely
I get them all to hop up to my tree stump shop
The moisture is so highly but they don't mind slightly
They love it and they′re so great at the job!

Frogs? No, they're useless, too smooth is their skin, yes
Clock cogs and the springs need the coarse toad star fingers!


Come to the river, watch their mothers deliver
It's not for faint of heart
Her back skin quivers with a unisoned shiver
Quite the quainted start
Consensual consensus is the ample amplexus
It′s an awkward loving embrace
When dad rolls the eggs into her back
You′re gonna freak
Freak
Freak
Freak

I think she's ready to start now
I think she′s aching for it
She's been dreaming, somehow preparing for this
The river is dark and so muddy
I′m proud of her for being so brave
For sacrificing, it must be frightening
I hope they're healthy and feisty
I hope they turn out better than me
I′m so faulty, so so faulty
It's time to face the world
It's time to give what you can
It′s time for big release

I know she′s ready to start now
She's flat and she′s brilliant and strong
She'll feel so elated, the poor thing has waited so long
The water is calm and so soothing
I might be more nervous than her
But I know she′ll get through this
And I know I'll get through this

I′ll make sure they're kind and thoughtful
I'll make sure they don′t make the same mistakes I made
I′m so broken, so very broken
It's time to face the world
She can no longer hold them in
Her back shivers with life

Remember when I said my timepieces only tock?
I find it weird you didn′t ask me why!
No it's understandable, you′ve been through quite a lot
So I'll go ahead and tell you, well, I′ll try
The river's full of leeches, otters, and other creatures
But the big concern's those pesky ticks
They love a toad to suck on
Questing and latching upon those big back holes
It makes us sick!

So yeah, we hate ticks

It makes sense that ticks all love the ticking of a clock
So by law these parasites don′t like the tock
So I hire the offspring, often hundreds at a time
And fill the holes with my non-ticking clocks!
The hands are warty, grimy, all coarse, and not all slimy
They′re much more agreeable than frogs
Yes they're the quintessential, peak amphibious potential
My very precious special sprogs!

Oh pipa pipa come to me
Pipa pipa please help me
Pipa pipa come slot the cogs
You are the quintessential, peak amphibious potential
My very precious special sprogs!

Now watch
I simply guide these babies up the stream to Tiny Time Hall
The older ones will teach them what to do
Now a watch
I gently sew some clocks into the mother′s gaping birth holes
And she's now free to make her dreams come true

The ticks come to attack, oh
But the tock of the non-ticking clocks sets them off
They can′t get in, so they take off

I'm Toad Hirer and to meet you ′twas nice to
But you best be on your way
My fresh team's assembled with so much work ahead of 'em
Before the light of day
The lake all a shimmer with pristine glass glimmer
Toadal guilloche and chains
A brass scent lingers on those small star fingers
As the old ones hop away
My front gate shudders like the back of their mothers
I hope they enjoyed their stay
They′re in such a hurry, but I needn′t worry
I'll clock them too some day
I′m Toad Hirer and while it's true I like ya
It′s time you went away
Sayonara, cheers, and hey remember
I'm not that guy
Okay?!