Too Stoned for Sturgis Songtext
von Tim Wilson

Guitar solo
Too stoned for Sturgis!
Ya smoked a little too much rope
When ya too fried for bikers
Ya pushin′ the Fried Envelope
When the police find ya passed out somewhare
Nekkid on a fare in bed
Ya proably too stoned for Sturgis
About a half a toke away from dead

Its kinda like too old for Lawrence Welk and not old enough for Mickey Mouse

Two steppin' to Steppenwolf
And too greasy for the Waffle House

Yeah I think you were born just a hare too wild even for the outlaw crowd

Its like a NASCAR official at Bristol sayin′ "ya'll are gettin too damn loud!"

Too stoned for Sturgis!

Just a little smoked up today


When ya stagger around accusin' Dennis Hopper of workin′ for the DEA

When ya trade in ya Harley for a chopper moped you are definitely

A little stoned for Sturgis
When ya shootin′ birds at Willie G

Its like being to hot headed for Vince McMahon or to hauty for the New York Times

Just a hare too Southern for the Skynrd Boys or immature for LeAnn Rimes

Ya way too dirty for Larry Flynt
And too ugly for the Rolling Stones

A little light in the loafers for the ballet folks and too stupid for Jenny Jones

Too stoned for Sturgis!

When you cant find your hog

Ya locked up all week in a port-a-john wit what ya prayin is a Pecan Log

Ya thought ya saw Jesus in the parking lot
Its Peter Fonda totin' 2 x10′s

You're a little too stoned for Sturgis and please never come back again

You′re way too stoned for Sturgis and ya ought to be on a Schwinn

Guitar solo and fade to end