A Modern Lay Songtext
von Slaughter Beach, Dog

Jenny found herself in the supermarket line
With the crossword editor of the New York Times
She said, "How does it feel to be so well-read?
I can′t even guess what you're reading"
He says, "I know I′m a big shot literary boss
But I do not intend to die on that cross
I make what I earn and I won't take no less
I'm not writing birthday greetings."
And then Jenny′s blood ran hot
She said, "I′m not one for desk jockeys
But I'll give you a shot."

Love in the United States
Empathy makes mе a modern lay
American kids swing the Amеrican way
What do you learn from your lover?


Tommy works all day sewin′ baseball gloves
Well he's up all night watching Punch Drunk Love
He writes fanfiction on the factory floor
Mostly concerning Fernando
And then one fine day on the production line
Fernando says, "Hey Tommy, I′m runnin' out of time!
I′m 28 years old, at the edge of my prime
And I can't even play the piano."
And Tommy says, "Well, hell, Fern, neither can I
Do you wanna come over and watch a movie sometime?"

Love in the United States
Empathy makes me a modern lay
American kids swing the American way
What do you learn from your lover?

Folks, we're nearing the end here
You′ve been a lovely audience
You just look like a, like a million bucks
If all fifteen of you split that up
You could, you could, uh, well
Anyway, we′ve got one more stop on this
Humble escapade through the Great American Bedroom
Isaac?
Lovely


Margaret starts with an absinthe mist
Tops it off with a lemon twist
Slides a lowball glass down the bar
To a new face in a yellow raincoat
Wrings the rag out and wipes down the wood
Starts to feel like she don't feel so good
Steals a glance at an old Polaroid
Tacked up by the Bushmills
Danny outside the Divine Lorraine
Just standin′ there in the pouring rain
One year from the day he died
Smiling like a child
She hears a crackle from the back of the room
Slow fade-in on a Neil Young tune
Turns around at the end of the bar
Sees another smile
And Margaret says, "Hey, stranger, let me ask you a question
You don't look like a dancer
But would you make an exception?"

Love in the United States
Empathy makes me a modern lay
American kids swing the American way
What do you learn from your lover?
Love in the United States
Make it while you′re payin' off your FHA
American kids swing the American way
What do you learn from your lover?
What do you learn from your lover?
What do you learn from your lover?