Crime Riddim Songtext
von Skepta

The feds wanna shift man
Wanna put me in the van, wanna strip a man
Fuck that, I ain′t a chippendale
Wanna strip a male, put me in a prison cell
Got me biting all my fingernails

Sitting in my hotel, listening to beats
My bredrin said that he's in the rave, told me that I should reach
So I jumped in the shower, got ready quick
Pulled up in a taxi, text my bredrin, tell him I′m on the strip
I stepped in, went to the bar, made my order
I got my drink, I posted up in the darkest corner
This guy frantically jumping around and spilled my drink twice
But I really ain't tryna fight, really ain't tryna see no jail tonight

The feds wanna shift man
Wanna put me in the van, wanna strip a man
Fuck that, I ain′t a chippendale
Wanna strip a male, put me in a prison cell
Got me biting all my fingernails


Feds wanna shift man
Wanna put me in the van, wanna strip a man
Fuck that, I ain′t a chippendale
Wanna strip a male, put me in a prison cell
Got me biting all my fingernails

What the fuck? This pussyhole must've been off his nut
In the cut, jumping around like a little slut
I pulled him up, "Yo, you spilt my Hennessy out my cup"
And still tryna run it up, it′s like this guy really wants to scuff
Flexing like he had something on the waist
Pull Shorty out the way, blaow, punch him in the face (yeah)
Made him Shmoney dance, I made him rock away (yeah)
We ran out of the dance, we could've got away (yeah)

But we came back, should′ve gone home and hit the sack (yeah)
But he never hit me back, I was like "That's a wrap", fuck that
Shorty found some gritty tings to keep us company (hi)
Then the feds run up on me and put the cuffs on me
What you know about four man in a cell? Couldn′t sleep
Spending pennies in the pissing well
You should see my cellmate, he's in shit as well
Sitting here, just waiting to hear keys in the door
I'm tryna buss this case even if I gotta get on my knees in the court
Crazy


Trust me, Decs
Fucking hell, bredda, man
You actually got nicked?
Man, dickhead ting, fighting ting, fam
Look at my knuckle
Fucking hell, what? Strip-searched and?
Fam, not gonna lie, fam
Strip-searched, they made me liff up

The feds wanna shift man
Wanna put me in the van, wanna strip a man
Fuck that, I ain′t a chippendale
Wanna strip a male, put me in a prison cell
Got me biting all my fingernails

Feds wanna shift man
Wanna put me in the van, wanna strip a man
Fuck that, I ain′t a chippendale
Wanna strip a male, put me in a prison cell
Got me biting all my fingernails

So what, what happened, then?
So what's the settings now, bruv?
Well, man, I was just grovelling to the magistrates, man
Literally just begging for my life, bruv

A′ite, a-, you really gonna do that right now?
A'ite, I′ma fucking pull out the Bazooka
I'ma blast ya ass
You′re gonna wish you never fucking did that
Eediot man, shut ya mout man

You're fucking pussy bro
You are a fu–, yo, I'ma (pussy? Bruv you′re chat) I swear, right now
You′re chatting shit over a fucking game bro, calm down
Oh yeah, where'd you learn that one, your fucking mother?
No your bludclart baby-mudda
Where you from?
London, know ′bout us, bro
You're a fucking scumbag
"Scumbag"

Yeah watch, turn around
I′ma blast you in the face right now
Bang, bang, bang
Yeah, pussy, pussy
Dickhead!
Okay, okay

Bro, share your location, share your location
I'll come to your yard, man
Big man ting, I′ll come to your yard
You're gonna come into my house?
And actually think you're gonna do that?
Get the fuck outta here, bro

Come on, big man ting
I′m right here, motherfucker
Aite, aite, aite, say nuttin
Really? Really?
Still talking
Bruv, you′re little gamer man, get me, I really do this bro

I do this every day
All day, every day
Lock arf my man
"Every day", oh yeah
Peace kid, later
Dickhead