The Night the Bar Closed Down Songtext
von Rodney Carrington

The bar will soon be closing
and lights they're all turned down
theres 3 girls in a corner booth
the fat one she's passed out
her friends they called me over
And it turned out she was stuck
with the help of 4 big bouncers
we put her in my truck
me & old Jack Daniels
had been together most of the night
somehow he'd convinced me
she was the prettiest thing in sight
I got her home I opened the door
and I rolled her to my bed
the lights came on she opened her eyes
and this is what she said...
wmmmm... wmmmm ...wmmmmmmm
wmmmm... wmmmm.wmmmmmmm.wmmm!
morning came, that sun was up & there to my surprise


was a big old girl with no clothes on
and Oprah Winfrey thighs
I sat up & fear set in
I found we were alone
she said that she was hungry
whilst she was nibbling on a chicken bone
the words she said next scared me
and today the haunt me still
she said I hope you've got a steady job cowboy
I said why's that sheila
she said I'm not on the pill thats why
I said oh!
with that in mind I tried to run
lord I tried to get away
she ran me down & hopped on top
and here's all I could say
huh oh wmmmm. get off me... wmmmm ...wmmmmmmm
wmmmm.ohh your crushing me.wmmmm.wmmmmmmm
get off ohohoh.wmmmahh get off me you Heffer!