Merry Christmas From the Family Songtext
von Robert Earl Keen

Mom got drunk and Dad got drunk at our Christmas party
We were drinking champagne punch and homemade egg nog
Little sister brought her new boyfriend
He was a Mexican
We didn′t know what to think of him until he sang
Feliz Navidad, Feliz Navidad

Brother Ken brought his kids with him
The three from his first wife Lynn
And the two identical twins from his second wife, Mary Nell
Of course he brought his new wife Kay
Who talks all about AA
Chain-smokin' while the stereo plays Noel, Noel
The First Noel


1:
Carve the Turkey
Turn the ball game on
Mix margaritas when the egg nog′s gone
Send somebody to the Quick-Pak Store
We need some ice, and, an extension chord,
A can of bean dip, and some Diet Rite®,
A box of tampons, an' some Marlboro Lights®
Halelujah everybody say "Cheese":

Merry Christmas from the family!

Fred and Rita drove from Harlingen
I can't remember how I′m kin to them
But when they tried to plug their motor home in
They blew our Christmas lights
Cousin David knew just what went wrong
So we all waited out on our front lawn
He threw a breaker and the lights came on
And we sang Silent Night, Oh Silent Night, Oh Holy Night

2:
Carve the turkey turn the ball game on
Make Bloody Mary′s
Cause We All Want One!
Send somebody to the Stop 'N Go®
We need some celery, and, a can of fake snow,
A bag of lemons, and some Diet Sprite®
A box of tampons, and some Salem Lights®
Haleluja, everybody say cheese:

Merry Christmas from the Family


Fe-liz Na-vi-dad!