I'm a Genius Songtext
von Ray Jessel

I′m the greatest in the field of physics
Theoretical
My name is Albert Einstein
But you can call me AL
I've heard some people natter
There′s others just as smart as me.
Like all things it's a matter
Of relativity
A brighter brain than mine?
That's a non starter
A few, perhaps, are cuter
But none smarter
Proof, you insist
Okay, lets′s play a small game
Let′s make a list
Of who's even in the ball game
Shakespeare was good
Mozart was good
But me, I′m a genius
Van Gogh wasn't bad


Thoreau rates a tad
But me, I′m a genius
There's Macchiavelli
There′s Keats and there's Shelley
And Madame Curie
And the rest
But like Bach and like Handel
They can't hold a candle to me I′m the best
Ben Franklin was fair
And so was Flaubert
And Voltaire wasn′t terrible
Rimbaud sure could rhyme
Rousseau was sublime –
But I'm incomparable
There′s Haydn and Dryden
Cervantes, the brantes,
But call them the brainiest? BAH!
They're all smart, they′re all bright,
They're ok, they′re all right,
But there's only one genius — MOI!

TWO CHEERS FOR REMBRANDT AND IMMANUEL KANT
BUT ME, I'M A GENIUS!
ALEXANDER THE GREAT
NEXT TO ME IS THIRD RATE,
JUST LIKE PAGANINI IS!
THERE′S IGOR STRAVINSKY, NIJINSKY AND MINSKY -
AND HOMER, OF COURSE, GETS A NOD.
THERE′S NEWTON AND NIETZSCHE
AND PAVLOV WAS PEACHY,
BUT ME — i'M A GOD!

MONET, RABELAIS,
THROW IN ESCOFFIER –
HIS SOUFFLE WAS QUITE EDIBLE
AND DOCTOR HEIMLICH.
THAT MANOUEVER WAS SLICK –
BUT ICH
BIN INCREDIBLE!
EURIPIDES, THUCYDIDES
DID NOT WRITE STUPIDITIES.
YOU SURE COULDN′T GIVE THEM A "CEE"
THEY'RE NOT DIM, THEY′RE NOT DUMB,
THEY'RE MUCH SMARTER THAN SOME,
BUT GENIUS? FIDDLE-DE-DEE!

SOME SAY PUCCINI IS,
SOME SAY FELLINI IS.
MAYBE THE GUY WHO FIRST PUT MUSTARD
ON A WIENIE IS!