Taxidermy Songtext
von Pig With the Face of a Boy

I am the taxidermist; I provide a valued service
I take your dear departed friends
And scrape them out from heads to ends
The tariff that I charge depends on girth, and weight, and species
Though I can give you two pounds off if its still in one pieces

I am the taxidermist; I deal in epidermis
Which is another word for skin
I pull guts out, put sawdust in
I place a loyal grin within the face upon his head now
Your kinship can rekindle even though his face is dead now

I am the taxidermist; it′s best when flesh is firmest
I must begin before they die
Or else their skin may putrefy
But it is quite alright to cry as I slice into Rover
Your tears can fill his water bowl until his life is over


When I was a lad, my dear old dad
Bought a puppy as a gift for my mother
And a small cotton bird where he would put his head
'Til I stuffed one with the other

I am the taxidermist; I own a massive furnace
I take the offcuts from my trade
And mash them into marmalade
With a special kiln I′ve made, I'll wow you with my nous
I fire it up, and though it smells, it's cheap to heat my house

I am the taxidermist; I′m not a pachydermist
Elephantine intestines are
A maze to navigate and takes
Ten days; don′t even ask me what it pays!
To slice the mighty husk it takes
From dawn to noon to dusk
Though ironically taxidermy's easy with a tusk

At the end of the day, with my tools put away
My cup runneth over the brim
I sing
"Ha, ha, ha ha ha, look what I did
Ha, ha, ha, ha: isn′t it grim!"