Time Zones Songtext
von Negativland

The Autonomous Commie Republic, which is part of the Russian
Federation, is situated in the far northwest of Europe, and spreads up to
the Arctic part of the Ural Mountains. It′s crossed by 9 northern
parallels. Ten fair-sized European states could be placed on its
territory. Besides indigenous residents (that is, the Commie people), there
are also Russians, Ukranians, Nenetzes, Tchubashis, and Tartars.
And now, let's go back into history a little bit. (CLICK)
A boil lying on skins behind our backs was turning the knobs of a
small transistor radio.
("...making efforts to use radios as vehicles of the
psychological warfare. A subversive...")
And the tent was suddenly filled with an announcer′s voice speaking Commie.

(Jane Jane Jane...)
Then, with music from Moscow, followed by English and French speech.
("The recording was made at the Moscow Theatre of Musical Miniatures.")
Now, back to modern times.


YOUR ATTENTION PLEASE. AT THE RECOMMENDATION OF THE INTERNATIONAL
TIME BUREAU, COMMENCING AT TWENTY-THREE (23) HOURS, FIFTY-NINE (59)
MINUTES, SIXTY (60) SECONDS UTC, AN EXTRA SECOND WILL BE INSERTED INTO
THE
NBS TIME SCALE. THIS ADJUSTMENT IS REQUIRED TO MAINTAIN
INTERNATIONALLY
COORDINATED UNIVERSAL TIME AS BROADCAST FROM THESE STATIONS, IN
CLOSE
AGGREEMENT WITH UT1, OR ASTRONOMICAL TIME.
("WA6ODB... with... a question...")
"and, uh ..."
"Do you know how many time zones there are in the Soviet Union?"
"and about power ..."
"d'you kn--"
"we got so much power now ..."
"Do you know how many time zones there are in the Soviet Union?"
"we got so much power now, that's ridiculous."
"d′you kn-- do you know how many time zones there are in the Soviet Union?"
"power, and all that, that′s power, we got so much power, that's
ridiculous."
"We have--"
"power, power, power, power, power, power now, it′s ridiculous. We
got so much power now ..."
"Do you know how many time zones there are in the Soviet Union?"
"It's not even funny."
"D′you--"
"That's ridiculous."
"Do you know how many--"
"It′
s not even funny."
"D'you kn--"
"That's ridiculous."
"Do you know how many--"
"That′s, that′s ridiculous."
"Do you know how many time--"
"That's ridiculous. It′s not even funny."
"D'you--"
"It′s not even funny."
"D--"
"It's not even funny."
"Do you know how many time zones there are in the Soviet Union?"
"It′s not even funny.
How many time zones?"
"Yeah. We have, we have four in this country, right?"
(Hello?)
"How many time zones?"
"Yeah."
(Hello? Yes.)
"1, 2, 3 ..."
"Four in this country, right?"
"Uh, yessir."
"Mm hm."
"Uh, four ... 1, 2, 3 ... yessir."
"Right."
"1, 2, 3 ... yessir."
"Mm hm."
("...radio station, Radio Moscow")
"Uh, four ... time zones?"
"Yeah. We have four in this country, right?"
"Uh, nosir."
"We have, we have--"
"Uh, yessir."
"Mm hm."
"And, uh ..."
"Do you know how many time zones they have?"
"Uh, yessir. Uh, four ... uh, nosir. I never really studied that up."
"Eleven."
"Eleven. It's not even funny."
"Eleven."
"Eleven. That's, that′s ridiculous."
"Eleven."
"Eleven. Well, that′s what we can do. We can go anywhere, because
we live here, we--"
"Yeah, but--"
"--anywhere else."
"But, not only, not only the right of free travel, I'm saying... eleven."
"Eleven. 1, 2, 3 ... yessir."
"Mm hm. Eleven."
"Eleve
n."
"That′s how big they are."
"Yeah. Yeah. Eleven."
(What happened to my call?)
"That's how big they are."
"Yeah. Yeah. I, I can believe that, I′m a firm believer in that."
"Alright."
"1, 2, 3 ... uh, four ... yessir. 1, 2 ... yessir. Yessir."
"Mm hm."
(...Radio Moscow, 215 2101)
"The Soviet Union's the whole half side of the world."
"Yeah."
"And we′re just a little, one little tenth of the globe."
"Yeah."
"They, uh, when you talk about fightin', we're a country that, uh,
we′re a firm beli
ever on pride, and it′s called help thy neighbor,
do not kill, do not, you know, steal, cheat, lie from everybody.
That's why we have to have computers, because man, nobody is perfect.
You know."
"Mm hm."
"It′s not even funny."
"D'you--"
"and about p
ower, man, nobody is perfect. You know."
"So what is your point?"
"Nobody is perfect. You know."
"So what is your point, Glen?"
"There′s, there's, there′s two things you don't talk about, one's
politics, the other one′s religion.
"D′you--"
"The reason
you don't talk about ′em is because they combine in
each other. You know what I'm saying?"
"Do you know how many time zones there are in the Soviet Union?"
"You know what I′m saying?"
"Don't you kid yourself. Thanks, Glen, for the uh... well, just thanks for
the, the good thoughts."
THIS CONCLUDES OUR TRANSMISSION TO OCEANIA. HOWEVER, LISTENERS IN
EAST ASIA MAY CONTINUE LISTENING ON THE FOLLOWING SHORTWAVE
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