UFO's, Big Rigs and BBQ Songtext
von Mojo Nixon

I′m gonna tell y'all a story you ain′t gonna believe
It's about UFOs, big rigs, and barbecue

Well, I'm squishin′ armadillos out on Interstate 10
Headin′ out of Houston once again
Then I seen somethin shootin' right across the sky
All covered in fur with one big eye... Shazam
So I stomped on my brakes, let my baby whine
I′m havin' me a close encounter of the diesel kind
Then the spaceman spoke, it sound sorta funny
Kinda like a Yankee banker all outta money
You know what he told me? He said:

Well, UFOs are big rigs
That come from Outer Space
Stoppin′ off at the truck stop Earth
Lookin' for some food to eat
Ya can′t get no Beanie Weenies
Out past the Great Unknown
UFOs are big rigs far from home


Now that furry flyin' saucer guy said he was lookin' for some barbecue!
So I took him down to Dreamland Barbecue down in Tuscaloosa, Alabama.
You know what we got?

We got ribs, white bread, and ice cold beer
We was eatin′ so hard I didn′t even stare
And that boy was ugly too
Said the waitress reminded him of someone who was far, far away
Took another white pill, another long day
Everybody now!

Well, UFOs are big rigs
That come from Outer Space
Stoppin' off at the truck stop Earth
Lookin′ for some food to eat
Ya can't get no Beanie Weenies
Out past the Great Unknown
Yeah, UFOs are big rigs far from home

C′mon, boys, I think I see Mr. Spock over there! Hey!


Then that space alien said somethin' that was music
To my truck drivin′ carbuncle-budded ears:
"Well, out past Mars ain't no speed limit!"
Said he owns his space truck, he don't rent it
And his back was achin′, could he somewhere get him a massage?
There stood Sapphire′s Space Age Love Garage
Ha Ha! C'mon!

Well, UFOs are big rigs
That come from Outer Space
Stoppin′ off at the truck stop Earth
Lookin' for some food to eat
Ya can′t get no Beanie Weenies
Out past the Great Unknown
Yeah, UFOs are big rigs far from home
Yeah, UFOs are big rigs far from home

Man, that boy shot outta here faster than Richard Petty!
Look at that antenna he's got!
I betcha he could pick up Dave Nemo and tha Road Gang on the other side of the Sun!