Kookies Songtext
von MF DOOM

It′s horrible
One little evening alone home
End up with carpal tunnel syndrome
And here I am, known for giving heavy back aches
Grown and living off of Little Debbie snack cakes
Supposed to be checking e-mails
All I got is messages from ass naked females

I don't know a Jenny
She said it′s free and I won't owe her a penny
And that's the last time I saw her
But thousands of more horror and on-line Gomorra
And Sodom, they got ′em with they curls out
And they got a better sales pitch than the Girl Scouts
I wonder what I owe her for a whole box of caramel coconut Samoa


("Nite nite!") Uh, okay honey, sweet dreams
Now it′s time to get serious like Peek Freans
A metal handful, wipe it on the quilt
Wife wakes up and I'm kill′t over spilled milk
Locked in looking at your picture
Fully clothed winter and I'm right there with ya
Thinking about the last time I split your wishbone
A man could only wish you could do the same till he get home

Fat chance, at least he get snacks
That′d have to do till a brother get back
Untill then smack One-Eyed Jack
And hope one of his peoples can hook him with a tri-pack
That's three different flavors
Chocolate, vanilla, and strawberry wafers
Acting all hard, ′bout to get beat up
I'll show him what time it is once I get this sheet up
As soon as he fell off his beat down
All I hear is, "13th cell put the sheet down"


Damn C.O
What the hell do she know?
Besides the fact that she wanna get dug out on the d-low
A workaholic with a fountain in the ink pen
Out in the mountains and I stop drinking again
In the wee hours, he's gotten farther
Needing three showers, being hot and bothered
The wiz with her legs bent pregnant
God bless the day she wondered where her egg went
I need a L but it′s hard to drink with out it
And could use some kookies but trying not to think about it
Watching "BET" on jazz for knowledge on file
Every other commercial, college hoes gone wild
Soft batch, I prefer the other bunch
Like we got for lunch, chocolate fudge butter crunch

You don′t mess with the Ritz Bitz
Wheat Thins, Saltines or Triscuits
Matzos or Cheez-Its
Catch sugar fits every time that he sees
Chips Ahoy, double chocolate chunk
Something with the bubble and the junk in the trunk
Even the Oreos, no matter what the weather
Always kept 'em dipped in milk and stuck together

In the game he′s shameless
Even uses a code name: Famous Amos
Cheaper than a short stay at the Days Inn
And good like 25 cent oatmeal raisin
Give a hand to who invented the camera
Skip past the graham, animal and Grandma's
Shh, make sure she don′t wake from her dream chill
Or get caught with a handful of cream fill

"Oh, honey!"
"What are you doing? That's so nasty!" (It might seem ill)
"Ew! Go wash your hand! No!"
"Get out of here!" (Kookies)

DOOM is master of the world
I′d sure hate to see that ugly mug of yours in my history book
You've disturbed me for the last time
Hey, y'know something gang? That DOOM ain′t really all bad
What do you mean, Ben?
Well, on account of him I had me a real good time
Y′know? I mean, between you and me, I kinda like being black
Well, maybe if we're lucky, he′ll attack us once more and send you back, Benjamin
Ah-haha, very funny, very-very funny
He must be mad
Well, if anyone can do it, nevertheless let's get out of here, while we can
Food, we need food