I Put My Low Stat Songtext
von Mary Crowell

I put my low stat in charisma
Got no sex appeal
Thought I′d play the fighter
So I could maim and kill
Live like a monk
'Cause I′m no hunk
Baby, what's the deal?
I put my low stat in charisma

I put my low stat in my wisdom
Thought I'd play the thief
Got a lot of skill points
They bring me no relief
I failed my save
Charm Person′s slave
Now I′ve come to grief
I put my low stat in my wisdom


I put my low stat in can't spell it
But I think it means you′re smart
I rolled up a barbarian
He is a work of art
Don't call him clown
He′ll hold you down
And on your head he'll fart
I put my low stat in can′t spell it

I put my low stat in dexterity
I'll play an armored priest
When we all roll initiative
I always have the least
Can't save at all
Against fireball
Now I am deceased
I put my low stat in dexterity

I put my low stat in my strength score
And I can′t hit a thing
I thought I might just be okay
If I had magic bling
No vorpal sword
And god, I′m bored!
Miss on every swing
I put my low stat in my strength score


I put my low stat in constitution
Now I'm always sad
I usually go unconscious
Which makes the cleric mad
My blood won′t clot
Got mummy rot
Eyesight's really bad
I put my low stat in constitution

I don′t know where I'll put my low stat
It′s only 17
I wonder why the other guys
Have started turning green
You think they'd be
So glad for me
Instead they're really mean
I don′t know where I′ll put my low stat

I don't know where I′ll put my low stat
Think all the rolls were shit
My dungeon master thinks it's fun
To irk me just a bit
No class will work
I told the jerk
You could always quit
I don′t know where I'll put my low stat

I don′t know where I'll put my low stat
I don't know where
I know where you can stick that low stat!
I don′t know where I′ll put my low stat