Doctor Kitch Songtext
von Lord Kitchener

I am not a qualified physician
And I don′t want to give this injection
I am not a qualified physician
And I don't want to give this injection

Dorothy is begging for trouble
She insist I should give her this needle
But darling, one thing I want you know
Don′t blame me for where the needle go.

I push it in, she pull it out
I push it back, she start to shout:
"Dr Kitch, this is terrible,
I can't stand the size of your needle!"

She lied on in such a position
It was difficult to give this injection
She start holding on to the needle
Making me so uncomfortable


I said: "Darling can't you be steady,
I′m going to have it done very shortly"
She said: "Dr Kitch, I am sorry
But the size of the needle frighten me!"

I push it in, she pull it out
I push it back, she start to shout:
"Dr Kitch, it′s terrible,
I can't stand the size of your needle!"

She still wouldn′t lie down quietly
Constantly moving her body
So I slap her in the face with vexation
And I went on giving the injection

She screamed: "Doctor stop! I can't stand the pain!
I don′t think you're inside the right vein!"
I said: "It′s your own fault you wouldn't be told
The needle must be stick in the wrong hole!"

I push it in, she pull it out
I push it back, she start to shout:
"Dr Kitch, it's terrible
I can′t stand the size of your needle!"


I pull it from that hole and start again
I have the needle now in the right vein
The needle just gone in half a inch
The stupid young lady start to clinch

Suddenly she bawl: "It is hurtin′
Doc' I can feel the penicillin going in"
I said: "You little fool, what you do
You talk until the needle breaking you!"

I push it in, she pull it out
I push it back, she start to shout:
"Dr Kitch, it′s terrible
I can't stand the size of your needle!"