The Oldest Profession Songtext
von Lillias White

I′m worn out and weary
I ain't no machine
My head hurts, my feet hurts
And everything in between
I′m gettin' too old for
The Oldest Profession
I'm gettin′ too tired
and too slow
I′m gettin' too old for the
half-hour session
I′m gettin' too old
for a pro
I′m gettin' too old
to climb all those stairs now
a half dozen times
everynight
I′m gettin' too old
to take 'em in pairs now
or to take off my clothes
in the light


I can′t seem to manage
those shriners who manage
to manhandle me
every trick
To tell you truth,
I′ve had so many shriners
I'm up for membership
When I was sixteen
It was fun turnin′ tricks
I needed the money
and I wanted some kicks
I ain't sixteen
I just turned twenty-six
It′s time to come in from the cold
Looks like,
I'm gettin′ too old
Twenty-six?
Watch your mouth now!
You say you've been in the life for ten years,
How many days you figure you've been on?
I don′t know but uh,
Lacey get your calculator baby
Let′s figure it out
Aight,
Let's say five Johns a night
Six nights a week
Of course that was back in my prime
That′s thrity Johns a week
Fifty weeks a year
'cause I always visit Mama at Christmastime
So that′s thirty times fifty
multiplied by ten
Holy Shit!
Lemme do that again
After ten years in the trade,
I really made the grade
It says here I've been laid
by over fifteen thousand men
Lord, have mercy!
I′m tired of doin'
those deadbeats and hikers
at half of the normal price
I'm tired of spending
the weekends at Reicher′s
You never meet anyone nice
I′ve done everything a body can do
but how goddamn much
can a body go through?
I'm gettin′ too old
for the endless procession
I'm gettin′ too old
for the constant depression
I'm gettin′ old for
the oldest profession
I'm getting too old
For the Life
I'm tired, tired, tired, tired
I′m weary
I′m gettin' too old for
THIS
Ooh
For the Life!