Zombie Instructions Songtext
von Jonathan Coulton

Ladies and gentlemen, it′s time for the last song of the evening
I'm sorry, there′s nothing anyone can do
Um, because we've shared such a special time together
Huh, I would like to close the night with a
Huh, a communal event, a sing-a-long if you will
Here's the situation, you guys are zombies
And, huh, there′s a very simple part for you to sing
Huh, let me sing it for you
So, please, sing along if you know it
Ready?

All we want to do is eat your brains
That′s it, that's the whole song
Um, huh, it sounds like some of you already know it
And I′m guessing that the rest of you have just now learned it
So, let's, let′s sing loud and proud
We're here, we′re zombies, get used to it, ready?


(All we want to do is eat your brains)
Yeah, that's great, that sounds like a
Sounds like a protest song, and that's
Very spirited, I like it

Huh, I have one bit of criticism, constructive criticism I hope
Huh, you′re singing too well
We′re not actually looking for, huh, the sound of a choir
Huh, we're looking for the sound of zombies
Which, as you know, is pretty awful
Huh, and unmusical, and there′s a lot of screaming and growling
Um, the zombies who are singing have kind of mushy mouth addiction
Diction is the main problem of a zombie, I think you all agree
It's like you never understand what they′re saying, embarrassing

Huh, also, they're not very well organized
They don′t start at the same time, they don't stop at the same time
Huh, if you don't want to sing, that′s fine
I don′t either, honestly
Huh, you could just make zombie noises
And that might even be preferable in this case
So, let's try again
It should sound really, really chaotic and terrible, okay?


Yeah, okay, very unruly, I like it
Yeah, it′s pretty bad
Well, you suck the most, Dallas, congratulations