Canadian Youth Hockey - Canadian American Songtext
von Jim Gaffigan

We′re having an election in America
So there is a bound to be some a
Americans that threaten to move to Canada
If that person gets elected, I'm moving to Canada
I don′t remember Canada extending an invitation

It's like...
And I've been coming to Canada for years
Been recruited, zero times
No one′s ever called doing, "Hey, you live in the States?"
"You ever thought of making a move?"
"How you feel about clam juice?"

He better stop with the clam jokes
It′s just, it's getting too much

In my, uh, hotel, uh, there′s a youth hockey team staying there
There is a youth hockey team staying in every Canadian hotel


Are-are they allowed to go home?
How long are these tournaments?
Every hotel
Every time I'm in an elevator in a Canadian hotel
I feel like someone in the other rooms like
"Send in the kids with the smelly hockey bags"
"There′s not enough room"
"Just do it, just do it, tell them we'll give ′em clam juice"

That better be the last clam juice joke

But of course the, the youth hockey league
That's all about the Canadian hockey dream, right?
There, you know, parents drive their children all around Canada
Because there's the dream that maybe their child
Might be, just by chance, maybe the next Wayne Gretzky, right?
And I′m here to tell you, it′s probably not

There's only one great one and I-I think he lives in Phoenix
Let′s kill him
I have to go