The Certificate Songtext
von Hilltop Hoods

(Cats get served, running up sliced)
(Every single night and that the way we keep it right)
(Like that fuckers)... (Yeah)
(I′m just trickin' though)
(Certified Wise in the house tonight)
(Certified Wise)
(Oi, When I say "Certified" you say "Wise" we say)
("Certified)" ("Wise")
(Certified) ("Wise")

The Certified have arrived, extraordinaire extravagant
Beers like confidence, man I drink until I′m arrogant
'Cause I'm a cocky fuck, hit your girl and I knock her up
Be like what the fuck? In the net like a hockey puck (score!)

Rappers get embarrassed when they see the way that we work
They try hard, they′re shamed like fat guys swimming in T-shirts
Research your Oz Hip-Hop, before you step to us
And if you step, hands around your throat like a necklace


Mister Trials, young ladies gimme a call
My number′s written next to "Fuckwit" on the chicks bathroom wall
I'm slightly easy and a trife bit sleazy
With the wit of a red brick and chiselled body of Kim Beazley
My theory is, never touch the mic quite serious
A kid goes out on dates later than their next period
My crews got it made, rockin′ the place
With more dope rappers to match every pram chillin' at Colonnades

It′s Certified Wise, no need to tell you again
Because these cunts can be so funky that the smell would offend a dyke's girlfriend dog
Now lets get straight to the point shall we
This rowdy crowd of MC′s and DJ's know how to pound beats
Like kids with flat feet and crap beats walking down backstreets
So much work went into this to line the notes of fact sheets
Like black sheep I've got two words for those who slept
(Nyah, yah, nyah, no way)

You thought it was safe, well guess what (what?)
Boys then beware; my friends will find your weak points (then what), get up in there
Attack your mind, with a fine line when I find time
And I′ll find out that you′re walking if you're talking the grape vine
I′ll waste time, need to take on the job at hand
Got skills for this professional typical Certified Wise man
From Sky to land, I'm overcoming all your schemes and plans
So take cover as I rain thunder upon you man


(I manifest Hip-Hop in it′s highest degree)
(Certified Wise)
(Somethin' I take very seriously)
(I sensualise, Certified Wise)

Every songs a collection of kids charmed lives
Like the porn section of Gary Glitters hard drive
Certified Wise throws a jam that′s so hot it'd make a married man give up his annual blowjob
You better show something, with heading no bluffin'
On the wrong side of my tracks, I′ll smash your petticoat junction
In a suffering city, I′m punishing the pretty and if you don't fuckin′ feel me I'll crush you without pity

I arrange certain words amongst silence
To be heard in abundance while MC′s face redundance
Stereo speakers exceed beyond specifications through extended noise generation
Let's cut the conversations to a small chat (why′s that?)
I'm busy tryin to react to the hi-hat
Blockade and Certified stand tall above ridiculous under-achievers and constant non-believers

I'm on stage with a handful of Panadol′s handin′ them out
'Cause of the head throbbin′ from the head noddin'
And we about puttin′ you out for the count like mic check
You aint gonna get Certified respect
So hide your decks, ya mics I might blackout
In a cipher when I still take the title
The name's Sesta, I snatch an ′L' plate and slap it on your forehead with more force than porn sex

It's the Buddhist Monks, with the Certified MC′s
I′ll make you nod your head like Parkinson's disease
Sin sanity′s but don't step to our click
I got a hundred metronomes just waiting to go sync
So take ya pick but not the axe or the shovel
After Hours I make beds rock like Barney Rubble
It′s kind a subtle, the way that my flow bores and leave your ears up shit creek without a Funk-Oar

Now certified wise gotta hold of ya
We got the whole lot a Cop and Magnolia
We're the fresh B-boys in Nike and Adidas
We′re hotter than heaters and blowin' up speakers
There's no half-steppers, we far from a fake, we make rap music every Aussie can relate to
We′ll never take a tumble, we′re not gonna stumble
If you dis' any member the result is "lets rumble!"

(Let me show you new rappers how to do a posse record)
(Let me show you new rappers how to do a posse record)
(Let me show you new rappers how to do a poss-poss′)
(Posse re-re-re-record)

Complex compliments this simple to complete this individual
Simplex the original beat the hypocritical
Ridicule the weaker techniques that leave you burnt
Like Cannabis Sativa, either you do or you don't
We′ll prove that you wont ever endeavour to get it together to better these fellas I'll be like whatever, you get it?
You′re wondering why you should never try
The reason certified is Mr. Nice with the Wise Guys

These crews stress, fully on a quest to be recognised, put up on a level next to me
And the Wise unified our lives, we bless the beat
We yet to see competitors who can compete with elaborate schemes they conjured up in their dreams
Have to be outta your mind to even battle this team
Masterminds of the game, nobody does it the same
When we leave the stage we're sure that you remember the name

You faggot MC's always compare one another
Studio 2000′s where you shot your album cover
I′ve the right patience, to your shit dictation then commence domestic MC word castration
Like excelle's effects from a psychedelic wanger
For you there′s no escape like sperm in a franger
Simulated imitations fade away progressively so go fuck yourself hermaphrodite MC

(Yo' this is DJ), (Dyems)
(Rep-rep-representing)
(This is Cert-Certified Wise)

A dietarian, pages down, lyrical librarian
My strong line is carnivore your line was vegetarian
Comparin′ 'em I′m tearin' 'em in two so don′t you dare me then comparin′ them with them I bring the heat like a solarium
You're starin′ then you better step back while I'm preparin′ 'em
Certified lyrical delegates are all the sound-ions
Rebellions under one banner for new millenniums
The south is certified its so good like Sanitarium

I throw tempo-tempo′s to scare those who dare oppose
Who don't compare the pro's I′m dressed in threadbare clothes
Still these rare flows got MC′s pleading ("give us a fair go")
Don't try to stop me you don′t realise the lengths to which I'm prepared to go
We can take a short journey and leave you at your wits end
You get burned like you′re smoking a cigarette from the lit end
You're acting so feminine you could be stressing about split ends
Certified hit home with so much force they make bricks bend

This situation get sticky, like a perve with porn mags
My presence on stage will make you trailer whore skags
Girls cats, horn-bag, you know my style sucker
And now we made tracks to get you up like a fluffer
Certified Wise, notorious to R.I.P cunts
Dissin′ us will get costly like private shows at strip clubs
Beating me's a hard task by itself so "fuck you!"
'Cause that′s a fantasy like anal sex with Eliza Dushku

This is my life and many come and go like one night stands
I treat live jams like a sermons and in my mic hand
A holy get them with ya bless ya
Shit you never spit the fresher shit than Pressure any means, risk or measure
This cut is deep, so pump a beat for my fuckin′ peeps
I'm rated X-rated the way that I come with tongue and cheek
We bring a ruckus like truckers in bar brawls
Certified Wise and we out like last calls, (calls), (calls)