King of All Trades Songtext
von Heather Dale

The Doge of Venice and Council of Ten
Were watching their town go astray
"The coffers are lean, there′s no money to spend,
It's a state of financial decay!
The cobblers are squabbling and not making shoes
The vintners have gone and forsaken the booze
The merchants are marching, demanding we choose
Just one is the King of all Trades, aha,
Just one is the King of all Trades."

The Doge of Venice and Council of Ten
Took cloaks and went out to the street.
There they were swarmed by a jostle of men
Who could barely keep up on their feet.
The Shipwright came forward and puffed up his chest
"When there′s goods to be carried my fleet is the best
They just make the stuff, I take care of the rest
Of course I'm the King of all Trades, aha
Of course I'm the King of all Trades."


The Dyemaster elbowed his way through the crowd
And laughed in the Shipmaster′s face
"I cannot imagine what makes him so proud
When my tubs could beat his in a race.
His ships are turned back ′cause their rats are infected
His sailors are brawling (but that was expected)
He always makes sure that his backside's protected,
He′d never be King of all Trades, aha
He'd never be King of all Trades."

The wizened old Jeweller peered up through his lens
And scoffed at the Dyemaster′s rant.
"I see that he's screaming blue murder again
When we all know his vat′s on a slant.
The water downriver from him is vermillion
And all of his colours go grey when it's rainin'
You don′t want to know what that indigo′s stained in,
And he'd never be King of all Trades, aha
He′d never be King of all Trades."

The Tailor came up as he skirted the mob
And willingly joined in the fray.
"I'm not one for making a cutting remark
But that Jeweller will lead you astray.
He′ll sell it as gold when it's copper beneath
He buys his glass gems from a kid up the street
I′ve seen him pull fillings from dead people's teeth,
He'd never be King of all Trades, aha
He′d never be King of all Trades."


The Doge of Venice and Council of Ten
Were quietly inching away
When the Smith came up through the gaggle of men,
"I′m delivering my goods for the day:
There's nails for the Shipwright and hooks for the Dyers,
There′s tools for the Jeweller (and his dentistry pliers)
You call yourselves workers but I call you liars,
With talk of the King of all Trades, pshaw
Your talk of the King of all Trades."

The Doge of Venice and Council of Ten
Looked one to the other with glee
"We thank one and all for the effort you've spent
It has certainly helped us to see.
I think we have found where our King has been lurking
He sticks to his job while you others are shirking
He makes you your tools so you all can get working...
We declare him the king of all trades, aha
The Smith is the King of all Trades, aha
The Smith is the King of all Trades!"